RSS
Home
Moms don’t get luxury of “falling apart”
Print
Email
RSS
Subscribe
.jpg)
Photo: freepixels.com
With everything happening in our world today -- a revolution dominating the headlines abroad, the economy still shaky here, even corruption in our local government -- the death of a cat named Hemingway hardly seems newsworthy. But in our household, the passing of one of the family cats this week was a difficult event, and one that taught me a valuable lesson about being a mother: you lose the right to fall apart.
I am a very sensitive person by nature. While this can make for good attributes (I can be thoughtful, caring, empathetic and open), it has developed some not so great ones (I cry very easily, when I’m happy, sad, mad, and have a hard time not letting my emotions get the better of me). Lucky for me, I married the most rock steady guy on the planet. In a crisis of any imaginable proportion, he remains the same: calm, rational, strong and supportive. So far in our twelve years together, I’ve relied on him as the rock and allowed myself to be emotional. In the past, the death of a beloved pet would have probably sent me into a serious week-long funk. But the times, they’re a-changing.
This week, our cat got unexpectedly sick. At the same time that my daughter got a fever of 102. 24 hours after we were back from vacation (with stuff still in suitcases). While I was preparing for an out of state business trip and subsequent wedding in a different state (more stuff in different suitcases). It “hit the fan” in our household this week. As I felt the old emotional side bubbling up on me, I had a realization… I’m the mom now.
This isn’t the same horror you have when you catch yourself saying “because I said so” for the first time. It’s the realization that you’re the grown up now. Other people rely on you. There just isn’t time to wallow and lay on the couch and cry. People need you to be functioning, helpful, rational and productive.
So, I quickly sorted out priorities. Sick daughter, number one. Sick cat, number two. Everything else, deal with as I can. I had my moments. There were little bouts of tears when I tried to comfort our obviously suffering cat. Again, when I notified our family that he hadn’t made it with an email and a photo of our baby hugging him with delight. But there were no major breakdowns. I made dinner last night. I did laundry. I got directions sorted out for my coming planes, trains and automobiles adventure.
In the scheme of things, these are relatively minor disturbances. My daughter got better pretty quickly, the cat didn’t suffer long and I work for a company that is incredibly flexible and understanding of when “life” comes up. I am sad for our loss but at the same time, life goes on.
This has been a reminder for me that moms everywhere do this every day, with crisis big and small. They carry on. They pull themselves together to be there for their family. Gone are the girls who get overly weepy and indulge in hours-long TV/ice cream sessions when they’re down. They are replaced by strong women who keep it together and cry for a few minutes in the shower, then get back to business.
Every so often, life presents you with a situation where you realize what a different person you’ve become. This week was like that for me… I realized more than ever - I’m the mom. And it feels good.
If you enjoyed this article, you may also enjoy:
** If you enjoy this column you can subscribe with the button above to receive email alerts when a new article is posted. Your email is safe and will not be shared, even with the author.
Related Articles:
Comments
I’ve written before about how I’m a huge believer in the power of the hand-written thank you notes. Recently I was emailing with an old …
Over the last three weeks, my sitter’s two kids both came down with H1N1, nixing my childcare for three weeks in a row. This week, E woke in the …
