Did you hear the one about the biker who . . .

OK, time for a little humor today. Here are some biker jokes you may enjoy. Some of these are real chestnuts but if you've never heard them before they're still funny.

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A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a motorcycle when he spotted a well known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So, Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered to the mechanic:

"Try doing it with the engine running!

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There were two guys riding motorcycles on a windy afternoon. One of the guys was complaining because the cold air was blowing into his shirt. His buddy told him to turn his jacket around, so that the collar of the jacket would be at his neck. That way no air could get into his shirt. So that is what he did.

After riding for a while the two men came up on a curve. They were going too fast and they crashed. Witnesses called 911 and rushed to the motorcyclists aid.

When the police arrived, they were doing a report. The police asked a witness if both of the men were deceased when they got to the scene.

"No" the man replied, "The one man was still alive, but by the time we got his head turned around to where it was supposed to be, he was dead!

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This biker lady has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and tummy tuck. Since she had so much more time to live, new roads to ride, she figured she might as well look even nicer.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While riding her motorcycle home, she was run into by a delivery truck and killed. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40+ years? How come you didn't pull me out of the path of that freakin' truck?"

God replied, "I didn't recognize you."

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A young man walked into an insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused him. "Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?"

"I've got a kickstand," the prospect replied. "Is that the same thing?"

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A biker is riding along a country lane, when a sparrow flies up in front of him. The biker can't do anything and hits the sparrow. As he looks in his rear view mirror, he sees the sparrow lying in the road. Being the kind of guy he is, he stops, picks up the sparrow and takes it home and puts it in a cage, still in a coma. When the sparrow wakes up the following morning, he looks through the bars of the cage and says, "Dang, I must have killed the biker."

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There's the sad story of the poor guy who was in a terrible motorcycle accident. When he came out from under the anaesthetic, the doctor was leaning over him anxiously.

"Son," he said, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that your were in a very serious accident, and I'm afraid we had to amputate both your feet just above the ankle."

"No!," gasped the patient. "What's the good news?"

"The fellow in the next bed over will give you a good price for your boots."

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This big ugly biker walks into the bar with a parrot on his shoulder, and orders a beer and a shot. The bartender sets him up and says, "That's really cool, where did you get him?"

"Sturgis." Replies the parrot, "They're all over the place up there!"