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Why surveys suck
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Flickr image from threedaymonk
Last week was National Singles Week. (I was out on too many dates to post... as far as you know...) I was inundated with emails about various surveys and stats about singles. If you've read God, you know I can't stand surveys when it comes to dating and relationships. The reason? People lie. Flat out; they just lie. Not because they want to but because they rationalize. The following information came from survey conducted by Zoosk:
San Francisco, Calif. – September 15, 2009 – As the nation prepares to celebrate National Unmarried and Single Americans Week, September 20 – 26, 2009, Zoosk, the world’s largest social dating community with more than 40 million users, surveyed 1,005 of its users in the U.S. to better understand their thoughts about their single status. The survey found that women are more likely to celebrate their single status than are men. Nearly 70 percent of women cite the freedom to “do my own thing” and the ability to “flirt with anyone, anytime” as the best aspects of being single. Nearly half of men, however, responded that none of the benefits of being single outweigh their wish to find someone special.
These stats might surprise you; they probably surprise a lot of people. They don't surprise me at all. I don't believe the stats because I don't believe the respondees. Women rationalize far more than men; thus, I fully expect a woman who wants to be married or with someone specialize to rationalize her happiness with singleness more so than men. In God I talk about how many women claim to be interested in "brainiacs" on match.com. A huge amount claim that interests them. Bull. Sure, if the brainiac looks like Brad Pitt, okay. It's not true. Further evidence is provided by the fact that many of these same women cite "boldness" as a turn-on. So these women are looking for a bold brainiac? How many bold brainiacs have you met? Yeah, they are pretty much non-existent.
Why do women mark "brainiac" as a turn-on? Because many of them want to like brainiacs. They think if they mark "brainiac" down, they'll start to meet brainiac guys and will become intersted in them. Of course, it doesn't work that way; you can't force yourself to like something that doesn't attract you. I have no doubt these women would love to meet a genius; but, in almost every case, that genius needs to be hot and bold, too (or at least cute and midly assertive). That in itself is a contradiction; such a find is very rare.
I'm not knocking surveys. My point is to keep you focused on what's really important to you. Don't rationalize; accept. You'll think clearer and be happier. When you are happy, you attract more people to you, including the opposite sex. If you rationalize, you tend to be bitter; bitter makes you unattractive and harder to approach. It's also harder and more work for someone to breach your wall, so people are less likely to bother.
Don't rationalize; accept. Incidentally, if you're wondering where I've been, I'm about half-way through my book on how to make good choices. I'm working on the dating/relationship chapter next. Once it's done, I'll be posting clips here for your perusal and feedback.
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