If they were around today

January 17, 2:19 PMSF Classical Music ExaminerScott Foglesong

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Sometimes in my music-intro class at UC Berkeley I attempt to highlight the differences between J.S. Bach and Handel by imagining them as musicians in today's United States. A slightly silly game to be sure, but not without its value; figures of the past lose some of their untouchability if we can put them into modern clothes and contemporary situations.

Handel is to me a snap to conjure up: he would live in a wealthy section of Los Angeles, in a glassy modern home, his workroom filled with all of the technological wonders available. He'd be a past master at Pro Tools, Logic Pro, Reason, etc. He'd have the complete Vienna Symphonic Library. I can imagine the giant curved desk, synthesizers and controller keyboards, the array of 30" Apple Cinema Displays hooked up to several top-end Mac Pros, multiple redundant storage systems, fiber-optic network at home and connection to Internet2, you name it.

He would zoom around in a BMW 750i, frequent the toniest restaurants, and possess a wine cellar second to none.

Undoubtedly he would be a primary benefactor of the Los Angeles Philharmonic (maybe it would have been called Handel Hall?). Endowed chairs at UCLA, USC, Colburn, and UC Santa Barbara would bear his name.

The trick here, in my mind, is what he would be doing: not opera, definitely. Nor do I seem him active on Broadway. Handel had a nose for money and thus film music strikes me as his métier in the modern world.

Move over, John Williams; George Handel would have plastered his name all over big-budget and high-concept films, left and right. A shelf of Oscars and Grammys would adorn those fancy digs of his. Perhaps he might make the occasional appearance as a guest conductor somewhere, and certainly he would be no stranger to late-night talk shows, Charlie Rose, or Oprah.

In other words, Handel would be a star.

George Handel, Hollywood icon

Now, what about J.S. Bach? He would be equally successful in his own way -- but that would be a very different way, indeed. I see Bach as the Chair of Composition in some fine university (not a conservatory); perhaps Yale, Michigan, or -- best yet -- Princeton with its toney musical pedigree.

Obviously he wouldn't be rich, but neither would he be scrabbling in the gutter for gigs. He would be respectably comfortable, a man not particularly worried about money (I'm improving his situation here a bit compared to his real life in Leipzig), a chap with a sizeable family to support and educate. His life would be busy, filled with teaching, advising, composing, and writing. (I'm imagining him here as the author of major textbooks on harmony, counterpoint, form, and orchestration.)

The general public wouldn't know much about him, but the world's musicians would know his work well. He would be performed primarily in the conservatories and universities, every once in a while being trotted out at some major life milestone (50th, 75th, maybe 100th birthdays?) as the subject of festivals, concert series, and respectful media attention.

I should think that a Pulitzer and/or MacArthur Fellowship would be in order for our esteemed Dr. Bach, as well.

Dr. Johann S. Bach lecturing at Princeton

Now let's expand out to a few other composers of the past.

Felix Mendelssohn is another one I find easy to imagine in today's world: he would be at the helm of the Chicago Symphony, guest conductor at Salzburg, Vienna, Berlin, Amsterdam, etc., and a noted composer of respected (if not particularly well-liked) works. Imagine Daniel Barenboim on steroids, and you've got Felix Mendelssohn 2009.

Antonio Vivaldi: he's the one I imagine with the hotshot Broadway career. Let's give him Andrew Lloyd Webber's gut instinct for a good property, but combine that with Stephen Sondheim's ability to compose intelligent music, and Richard Rodgers' lyrical gift. Tony would be a familiar face in People magazine or supermarket tabloids, not because of his music, but due to yet more shenaningans during his 12th time through drug rehab.

Franz Liszt: another one I have little trouble plopping down into the modern world. Early in life he would have been a major rock star, object of adulation and lust, astronomically rich and thoroughly hedonistic, as well known for his sexual excesses as for his gold albums.

As middle age set in he would retire. Displaying a completely unexpected philanthropic nature, he would found and finance several immensely successful ventures -- a recording label that specialized in promoting the talented but unsung, and a high-powered popular music program at Juilliard. His influence would have resulted in a wave of superb young singers, songwriters, and instrumentalists who were to dominate the popular music field for most of the 21st century.

Toyboy Franz in his rockstar days

The game's charm begins to fade a bit if you play it too long -- so that's my contribution.

Anybody else have their candidates?