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Phoenix Sex and Relationships Examiner

Monday's Ask Meghan: What happened to my erection?

November 9, 12:51 PMPhoenix Sex and Relationships ExaminerMeghan Krein
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The other night I went out with a few friends and ended up going home with one of the girls we were with. Through the course of the night we each only had about four beers. Anyway, we ended up sleeping together. I guess if you could call it that. I couldn’t really get that hard. Obviously she noticed and asked what was wrong. I pushed through and was able to finish. But I’m a little humiliated because I actually really like this girl. The next day she sent me a text saying, “No biggie”. The only other time this happened was when I was completely wasted. What was going on?  
 
- Not Mr. Big
 
 
 
Dear Not Mr. Big:
 
Assuming you’re not on any medications that can cause this type of side effect, I would say you were suffering from performance anxiety. Performance anxiety is a common sexual problem in which men and women develop a crippling fear when it’s time to get jiggy with it. This anxiety of not being able to perform is so overwhelming that it ultimately overtakes what should have been a spontaneous event.
 
Performance anxiety can be caused by a variety of factors, stress being the number one culprit. You’ll have to look within yourself to determine the root of yours. But, I’m willing to bet it’s the deep feelings you have for this girl. You said, “I actually really like this girl.” That tells me you typically don’t develop strong feelings for women. Perhaps in the past you’ve enjoyed flings or kept women at a distance as a means of self-protection. Whatever the case may be it seems as though this one has your heart; now you’ve just got to work on giving her your penis.
 
Here are a few tips:
  • Take the pressure off of yourself.
  • Remember you’re not alone – others suffer from this.
  • Stay positive – use the mantra: “I am the man”.
  • You have complete control over your body. Enforce it.
  • Believe you’re going to have great sex and you will.
 
Best,
Meghan
 
P.S. It sounds as though you’ve got a girl with a great sense of humor and really, most women do understand this sort of thing (i.e. her text message).
 
 
*Do you have a relationship question? Email me at meghankrein@yahoo.com
 
Also check me out in the new Phoenix Men’s Guide for more relationship/sex advice.
 

 

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