Let's just get this out of the way...

August 25, 10:08 AMSF City Hall ExaminerMelissa Griffin

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Constant Readers,

A few weeks ago one of my friends asked me about a political contribution I made earlier this year to a candidate in the District 3 supervisorial race. I'm not gonna lie: I was totally giddy that someone cared enough to look up my activity on the Ethics Commission website. "Really? You actually looked it up? That's awesome! I feel so famous!!"

Which, sadly, was not his point.

"Yeah, well, Melissa you might want to think about that if you're gonna be writing about District 3."

This friend is a lawyer and what he was trying to say is that it may be unethical for me to write about the D3 race without disclosing the fact that I made this contribution.

And he's right.

Which is why, despite living in D3 and having attended two debates, I haven't written about the race yet. But I am dying to! And anyway, in case there's another nerd out there who wants to look up my activity, I don't want there to be any confusion about what my contribution meant. So here goes...

I learned through a Facebook invite/Evite/electronic something that that Mistermayor would be at Joe Alioto, Jr.'s kickoff party on March 19th. Beth Spotswood is one of my best friends and, for those of you uncool people who don't read her blog or SFGate essays, has made a cottage industry out of stalking/poking fun at Mayor Gavin Newsom. And I knew it would thrill her to no end to finally get to meet him. The tickets were $250 a pop and I bought 2 - 'cause I sure wasn't gonna miss it.

We went. She met him. And I would have paid twice as much to Grasshopper Kaplan's campaign to see Beth so damn happy.

Now, don't get me wrong, Joe Alioto, Jr. is a great candidate. I'm just not in the habit of endorsing candidates. And lest you think he used this access to moi to schmooze me about his campaign, I can tell you unequivocally that, despite the fact that I have seen him at his event, 2 debates and the DCCC endorsement presentations, he still has no idea who I am. Zero. (I tell myself that this unwillingness to kiss up to his contributors reflects integrity but the more likely story is that I'm exceptionally forgettable. Eh, whatever. That's not why I bought the tickets anyway.)   

Of course, none of this negates the fact that he still has the benefit of my $500.

And so, to be fair, I am going to offer the same deal to any of the other official D3 candidates.

I hereby promise that Beth and I will attend an event and I will personally give $500 to any official candidate for D3 supervisor (no write-ins) who can produce a celebrity at the event that Beth wants to meet. Like Mistermayor, that celebrity must talk to Beth nicely for at least 5 minutes and have his or her picture taken with her. While candidates can suggest celebrities for consideration (Aaron Peskin in a speedo doesn't count, David Chiu) here is a list of Beth's top 5:

1. Robin Williams
2. Kimberly Guilfoyle and/or Sophia Milos
3. Guy with the "Stay a Virgin" and "Sex is Sin" sign who sits outside the Gap at Powell and Market. He must bring the sign.
4. George and Charlotte Schultz
5. Han Sup Shin 

Alternate: The hot guy who works at Whole Foods in Mill Valley

Thanks for reading, y'all. Now I can continue on with some D3 coverage tomorrow. I'll let you know if I have any takers on the Celebrity Challenge. I also have a special surprise for my Constant Readers this week!

-Melissa