Real-life tales from Planet Prom

Add a Comment

May 27, 9:56 AM

by Caroline Grannan, S.F. Education Examiner

 

 

Junior girl, San Francisco School of the Arts (SOTA): “People tend to couple up (not always), but large groups of many couples spend the entire night together, eating dinner, dancing, and attending after parties. The guys still wear tuxes. It seemed like many people toyed with the notion of getting a limo, but the actual price was too daunting for all the people I know (there is a 6 hour minimum for renting, so people are forced to pay for the many hours not spent in the limo). In Lafayette last year, the high school prom I went to forced everyone to take a special bus to and from the event, in order to avoid the drinking and drug use that sometimes goes on in limos on the way to prom. I think the ritual of picking up the girl at her house is a little outdated, as many San Francisco boys never learn to drive in high school. But corsages and boutonnieres are still a part of prom.”

Junior girl, Lowell High School: “There are a lot of traditional prom customs still alive at Lowell. A lot of students rent limos, the guys wear suits (I'm not sure if I've seen any tuxes, but I wouldn't be surprised), and guys still present girls with corsages. I know a lot of people, especially girls, who go as a group (without dates). It is very common at Lowell for a girl to just go with friends because of the 60:40 girl-to-boy ratio.
.
A lot of girls are starting to wear shorter, less formal dresses (instead of the traditional floor-length gown). There are still girls with extremely formal dresses; it's just a lot more rare. Girls still spend all day getting their hair, nails, and make-up done to get ready for prom – I don't believe that will EVER change.”

Junior girl, SOTA: “There are still kids who make a big deal about getting a date but group dates are definitely more common now. Even the kids who do have dates tend to go out with other friends and meet up together. The ‘date’ is more just for pictures than an actual ‘date date.’ I know there were some people who were considering on getting a limo so that idea hasn’t completely died out yet. Guys tend to stay away from the parents since most of them are going as friends anyway. And I wish they would pick us up from our house, but nowadays we just meet up somewhere (like for dinner).”

Junior girl, SOTA: “Most people I know are going in groups, some are getting limos (I'm not). For the most part, SOTA kids go for the untraditional and unexpected.”

Senior girl, Lowell: “My best friend from middle school really wanted to go, so she's my ‘date.’ =D But really I am kinda going in a group where most people have dates -- friends we've known forever…. My senior prom will be my first ever high school dance.”

SOTA alumni boy: "I think the mindset for prom right now it's definitely still better to go as a couple if you can find a date. If you can't, it's fine to go stag, but good luck finding other singles to go as a group with! I think it's definitely easier for girls though. Usually, they can always go as a "couple" with a girl friend, or they'll make plans with their girl friends to go as one group. No one will chide you if you don't follow these 'rules,' though.

"Also, many guys still bring their dates corsages, and I'm sure that if they go to prom as a pair, as opposed to a group, the guy will visit the girl's house.

"I think that most students who plan on getting blasted find someone who was able to convince their parents to rent a hotel room and stay there for the entire night, so they don't have to worry about traveling and such. Quite a few people also travel from party to party whether the party be in hotel room or home.

I think most guys who are able to definitely wear tuxes. Some wear suits. Both are okay, but the guys with the fancy tuxes I think tend to get more notice. . As long as you dress formally, I don't think anyone will dock you social points."

Balboa High School alumni parent: “My son attended both his junior and senior prom (different girls for each one.) He didn't wear a tux to either, just a dark suit, black shirt, and a tie. He did do the corsage thing both times, and both times the girls brought a boutonniere for him. In fact, one of my sweetest memories is of my son bashfully asking me if I knew anything about corsages, how do you get one, and would I go with him to the florist to arrange for it?

“He of course wanted the limo junior year, but I drew the line at that (that is what senior proms are for.) They went with a group of kids; parents provided a ride to the event in a fleet of parent-driven cars, and the kids took a van taxi home afterwards. ‘Home’ is not actually where they went, though -- they went to an afterparty, at a home at which I am pretty sure there were no adults, but at 2 a.m. we were just happy that he was not still partying in Union Square, which is apparently where all of the kids whose proms are
in that area end up once the hotels kick them out. There may have been drinking at the
after party, and for some kids, maybe sex (my son's date was just a friend, so I wasn't worried about that), but I imagine that is all part of prom, and it was even back in my prehistoric day. We picked him up from the afterparty about 10 the following morning.

“So the memory of how junior prom ended made the idea of a limo for senior prom even more appealing to us. Plus, the promise of a limo was something I was able to hold over his head all of his senior year, the deal being that if he achieved a certain GPA, got into a good college, and didn't do anything else to make me mad, he could have it, and if not, he and his date would be driven by his dad, wearing his most embarrassing sweatshirt and the sweatpants with the holes in them, and dispensing helpful prom ‘advice’ all the way
to the event. Needless to say, my son made sure he was able to earn the limo.

“There was much excitement when the limo arrived – it turned out to be a Hummer limo, the vehicle we had always jokingly said was my son's dream car! Off they went, and it delivered each member of the group back to their own home afterwards, by 1 a.m. as arranged.”

Senior girl, Washington High School: “I just attended my prom on Friday. I'm part of a small group of JROTC Seniors who had Camp Parks (a weekend we head out to a base and rappel and do leadership reaction courses and other activities) and this crossed over with many proms, such as Washington’s, Mission’s, Lowell’s and Burton's. All these seniors had to either drive back from Pleasanton/Dublin or BART back. We didn't mind much, just a bit more planning and delegating leadership. But my friends rented their tuxes by phone earlier that week and had to pick them up when they got back to SF on that day. The girls were preparing either at camp and were gonna drive later. I prepared my hair and nails on BART.

“I knew about 4 senior groups who rented limos. The hotel kicked us out at around 11:40 and everyone planned for the limo to pick them up at 12:15 so they were out waiting for half an hour or so in the SF cold.

“Most of my friends also went to go eat out at a fancy restaurant before prom.

“We had a ton of police at our prom. I felt pretty restricted. We weren't allowed to hang out and wait for dates or friends in the lobby. Overall, prom is pretty over rated, it is a time to see senior friends again but now it isn't as formal and memorable. But it's the
people you spend it with, so if your kids are going to prom make sure they are going with a group they like and will have fun with.”

Lowell alumni parent: “My son went all four years that he was at Lowell. The first two years he was invited by ‘older women.’ I went to Goodwill and bought a Ralph Lauren tux for $15 which lasted for every formal occasion he had through high school. (He also went to proms sponsored by various schools down the Peninsula which were mostly held at SF hotels). The drill was to go in formal wear – if you don't count the sneakers – and change later for the after parties. He generally got a brightly colored shirt to coordinate with the girl. Never did invest in a tux shirt although we had an assortment of colored bow ties and cummerbunds and suspenders as Goodwill had a 25-cent special one day. He would buy a wrist flower for his date. The guy at Church Street Flowers would put together a single orchid on a strap for $8. This was a few years ago so prices probably have gone up. The kids would go as a group, sometimes to dinner beforehand at a restaurant, sometimes at someone's house and a number of us parents would send over pot luck dishes so that the host family wouldn't have to do so much. It was also the job of the host family to take pictures though now the kids do that themselves to put on Facebook etc. The Peninsula school kids would usually rent hotel rooms in the hotel where the event was held so that they wouldn't have to drive. The SF school kids would most often end up at Ocean Beach with a bonfire or at someone's home. Sometimes they all went out to breakfast – Mel's Diner or the place on Taraval and 19th. I never got the whole story of the event because he would sleep for the next 2 days and then it was old news so not a topic of discussion.”

Balboa parent: “My daughter's prom is this weekend. She's going with a (male) friend, who is (I think) wearing a tux – I’ll know for sure when he picks her up. They're planning on taking a cab downtown. Beyond that, all I know is that anyone who doesn't come to school on Friday will not be allowed to attend prom on Saturday, and that anyone
wearing blue or red on Friday as a nonviolent protest against the dress code won't be allowed in either (the things you discover, listening to the weekly phone call from school). I think her date is buying her a corsage – he wanted to know what color her dress was, anyway. Don't know if it's a pin-on or wrist corsage. Back in the Pleistocene when I went to my prom, my flowers were pinned on (it was as close as my date got to copping a feel in the presence of my parents)...”

   Subscribe   Feed

Include other special offers from Examiner.com
Terms of Use