Fading voices from the fo'c'sle

Back in the days before we all became white-collar nancy boys, this used to be a real seafarin' town. Gnarled-looking men with eye patches and peg legs and dirks in their sea boots prowled the Barbary Coast, and those China clippers, man, they were a sight to see with all that billowing canvas as they sailed in through the Gate.

The only eye patch you see these days is on Warren Hinckle and it's the Bubble Lounge, not Shanghai Kelly's, where our drinking heritage has collapsed onto a fainting couch. A cosmo? Listen, me bucko, in 1885 you would have been slain at the bar for even breathing the word. Pirates? They're called "attorneys" now. Barbary Coast? It's a real estate company these days.

We're not exactly living the lusty eating scene from "Tom Jones," if you get my drift.

But if the sea still runs hot in your blood, fear not. July is a felicitous month for old salts (and old sots, too). The annual Festival of Sail is coming to the waterfront, beginning July 23, featuring a flotilla of international tall ships that will tie up for a week within the shadow of our own fleet of historic vessels at the Hyde Street Pier. Go aboard, then, stride the deck and lose yourself in a little make believe. And if you'd like to be on even more intimate terms with this sea fest, consider volunteering to help. They can use you. If you're interested, give festival director Joanne Fedeyko a call at 415-307-1382.

Want more? Spend three hours on the Bay aboard the old scow schooner Alma, one of the Hyde St. Pier boats. There's the sea and the sky and some interesting chin-wagging about our rich maritime history, but this is a hands-on voyage, too. Expect to raise a little sail, if not a little hell. Alma weighs anchor every Saturday at 12:30 p.m. For reservations and more information, call the National Maritime Museum's visitor center at 415-447-5000.

But maybe you're just a landlubber who likes the romance of sea and sail. Well, stick around. The 20th annual Sea Music Concert Series is coming in the fall, where you can tuck a flask (of some non-alcoholic beverage -- nudge, nudge, wink, wink) into your pea coat and go hear some great chantey and ballad singing aboard the Balclutha.

For information on those concerts -- there's one in September and another in October -- call 415-561-6662, ext. 33.

While we're waitin' for the tunes, pass the whale blubber, mate, and fetch me another grog.