(Continued from my previous post on IML.)

The International Mr. Leather competition is purportedly the climax of the IML weekend. But this cowhide beauty pageant—which, at 3.5 hours, rivals the Oscars in terms of jaw-dropping self-regard—is interesting more as anthropology than as entertainment. (If you consider that the entire multi-hour event is underscored by a steady OON-cha-OON-cha-OON-cha house beat, punctuated with triumphalist theme music from "Gladiator," you'll understand why I had to go to the lobby at intermission to buy a handful of Excedrin.) 


(Photo: KeniMattix—a duo that performs Cirque du Soleil-type moves in leather hotpants—provided entertainment during the first round of judging.)

The ceremony opened with a genial speech by IML founder Chuck Renslow, who set the tone for the evening by assuring us that “[Leather play is] still a power exchange. It’s still about trust and learning.” (Throughout Renslow's speech, several guys in the audience actually said “Amen,” while others raised their hands as if in prayer, tent revival-style. Now that I think of it, the whole IML experience reminded me just a bit of my fundamentalist Promise Keepers days back in the mid-'90s. Except, of course, with less laying-on-of-hands and more fisting.)


(Clockwise from top left: Bob Firth-Tessier, M. Cuir Montreal; Russ Woolmore, Mr. Hoist [London]; CJ Smith, Mr. Club XS [York, PA]; Gary Iriza, Mr. Palm Springs.)

The IML competition consists of two stages: the "speech" round (a 90-second spiel by each of the 20 finalists) and the "physique" round (meaning that everybody strips down to their jockstraps). The judges weigh the two categories equally because, as emcee Brad Balof explained, "These men aren't just pillars of our community. They are pillars of meat."



The only northern Californian who really connected with the audience was Jake Anderson, representing The Bolt in Sacramento.



The crowd lapped him right up, probably because he didn’t spout bromides about the "leather community." Instead, he seemed to understand the crowd's vibe more completely than any of the other candidates: "We have a responsibility to the kinky youth of tomorrow,” he yelled into the microphone. “We must stop sterilizing sex. I want it steamy! I even want it scary! Young, adventurous bucks in your kink gear—drinks are on me!" The crowd roared its approval.

But on to my favorite contestant of the evening—Bob Firth-Tessier of Montreal. Think of him as the French-Canadian Matthew Fox.





Turns out, though, that he didn't move the judges in quite the same way he moved me. He placed second to Gary Iriza (Mr. Palm Springs)—the type of guy whose physical perfection is almost unsettling.




Well, hey—good for him. He's happy; he's hot; he's the leathermannest of them all. But just a few words of solemn advice for him and all the boys at IML, courtesy of "Smile":




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