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As chief Frappucino evangelist, ceo Howard Schultz disagrees, of course. He's telling financial analysts things will turn around, now that he's closed 61 stores Down Under (“business challenges unique to the Australian market,” namely high rents and high labor costs), closed 600-plus stores domestically (poor real estate decisions, duh) and laid off 13,000 employees (“partners” no more, but some 150,000 remain on the payroll).
Granted, it's a crappy time for the retail sector generally. Sharper Image is in Chapter 11, along with Linens N Things, Merwyns and Shoe Pavilion. Foot Locker, Lane Bryant, Ann Taylor and Zales have gone under, and Circuit City is on the ropes. But it's a good time to be Howard: cash salary of $1.2 million last year, part of a $10.8-million compensation package.
So here's the guessing game: if Starbucks is facing a buyout before the year's out, who's the suitor? Rival Dunkin Donuts? (They're introducing a new “healthy” menu themselves, including a ghastly-sounding eggwhite sandwich on flatbread.) Mickey D? (They'd want to do 99-cent Happy Deals, drip & danish, maybe.) Subway? (Actually testing their own café concept in Boston. In foot-high cups, no doubt.)
The white knight will probably be a leveraged buyout, perhaps with Asian capital. The Green Mermaid still has plenty of prestige in Paris, clout in Korea. Here, Howard, have one of your new banana smoothies! Chill out.


