Style Rule No. 9: Avoid being called a...

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November 24, 10:49 AM

by Stile E. Coyote, Men's Style Examiner

 

 

Recognize him from the office? The archetype of douchebags

Stile overheard the other day a bunch of beautiful young birds talking about their beaus, or ex-beaus, or something or other (Honestly, Stile wasn't listening as much as he was watching and planning his attack). Then one of the birds says to her friend, "He was a complete douche," and Stile had to chuckle. Apparently the ex-beau won't give her stuff back. Ah, the pleasures of dating.

You see, there are varying ways to disparage a man, but nothing emasculates us as much as calling him a feminine cleansing product. Douchebag, as it were, is one of the worst around. It's like calling your friend a p**sy on the playground because he throws like a girl. It's just, well, awkward and wrong. 

Why? As one of the birds chirped up, "Jerk is kind of playful. It can either mean you're being annoying or cute, and it depends on the context. A**hole on the other hand is a bit too much, because clearly it's said out of anger. But a douche? He understands right away what it means."

Avoid being a douche: Rules for dating

• Make the evening enjoyable
• Make eye contact
• Be courteous and complimentary
• Avoid staring at her breasts
• Never cancel within 24 hours (and never stand her up)
• Be on time
• Don't be flashy
• Avoid smoking and excessive drinking
• Be a good listener
• Dress well. Read this
• Smell good (which means shower and use a dab of cologne. A dab)
• Use clean language
• Avoid discussing ex-girlfriends or wives
• Tell the truth 
• Pay the bill on the first date. No questions. Future dates are up for discussion
• Make sure she gets home safely (not necessarily with you)
• Never coax her into sex on the first date
• Call when you say you will

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