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How long should you co-sleep?
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I remember first hearing the term "co-sleeping" and having no idea what the heck it meant. It sounded like a sport, perhaps some complicated tag-team game of sleep. Although the term "co-sleeping" has been popularized by the attachment parenting movement, the practice of sleeping with one's infant is as old and widespread as, well, the human race.
In my limited observation there seem to be two types of co-sleeping families. There are those who made the decision to co-sleep because of their commitment to attachment parenting. These are the parents who will proudly proclaim, "We're co-sleeping!" whether you have asked them or not. They seem well-rested and confident about their particular parenting style, which they will probably tell you all about.
Then there are those who co-sleep because that is the only way their baby will sleep AT ALL. They have basically been bullied into co-sleeping by their "persistent personality" babies, who are way too cute to be allowed to cry in their cribs. If you ask these parents about their baby's sleep habits, they will sigh, rub their foreheads and disclose, "We're co-sleeping," with about the same enthusiasm one might disclose, "I've got athlete's foot."
My husband and I fall into the latter category. We were intent on not co-sleeping. Our son slept in his bassinet next to our bed for about 3 months, and I had every intention of moving him into his crib after that. I thought it would be a smooth, easy transition. But then a combination of factors (him getting too big for the bassinet, still waking up to nurse 3 or 4 times a night, me going back to work) made co-sleeping seem like an easy, temporary solution. He slept so well in our bed. He never had to cry at night, I never had to get up, and I thought I would just let him sleep with us until he started sleeping for longer stretches.
Ha, ha. My son is now 7 months old and still sleeping in our bed. Not only that, but still waking up 2 or 3 times to nurse (Sometimes more. OK, usually more.) I know, I know. I know that he is waking up to nurse so much because HE CAN. I know that he will never learn to sleep on his own if we don't teach him how. I've heard it all and read it all and I know. But to be honest, teaching him to sleep in his crib all night will take time and effort that, as a working mother, I'm not always willing to expend.
There are other factors now, too, keeping me from cutting that co-sleeping tie. Being away from my son during the day is really difficult, and having that cuddling time with him at night has become very precious to me. Watching him wake up in the morning, flash that huge gummy smile and bury his head against me is what gets me through my day at work. But also precious to me is having time to myself, time with my husband, time to watch a movie or read a book, time to entertain friends. So at some point, I know we have to bite the bullet and get this kid in his crib already.
As my husband likes to remind me, this co-sleeping thing may become problematic once our son goes away to college.
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