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How to fight the working mom blues
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If you went back to work soon after your baby was born (like I did) you know how easy it is to feel awful about it. No matter your reason for returning to work, it's very hard to be separated from your baby during the day. I don't want to get into the mommy wars here, but I know from experience that for many mothers, going back to work is not so much a choice as it is a financial necessity. Even then, it's easy to feel guilty and depressed about the situation. I know, because I feel that way at least once a week! Especially on a slow celebrity gossip day.
When I get down about having to work instead of being able to stay home with my son every day, these are some things I try to remember.
The first time your baby does something new is still exciting (even if he's been doing it for weeks at daycare).
OK, you may not be the first one to see him roll over. But guess what? He'll do it again. My little stinker rolled over at daycare a full week before I finally saw him do it. But I cried and clapped and made a huge deal, just like any mother would. Even if you were home with your baby all day, you could miss the first smile, giggle, roll over, etc. He could have been smiling behind your back for weeks before you saw it. He could be doing somersaults in his crib and you'd be none the wiser. Heck, he could be reciting Shakespeare for his stuffed animals while you're taking a shower.
If your baby does something new at daycare, don't feel bad. It is a good sign that he feels secure and happy there. And that's what's really important.
He may be having more fun than he would with you.
Babies get a lot of good stimulation and interaction at daycare. Compared to the entertainment my son gets at daycare, being home with me would be a total snooze fest. He absolutely loves watching the other kids play, and he has three very affectionate caregivers catering to his every whim. He really does love it there, and sometimes that makes me sad. But then I remember that it's about him, not about me.
He's building a strong immune system.
This is what I tell myself when he gets a cold. AGAIN.
If you stayed at home, you probably wouldn't be able to drink coffee and catch up on the news uninterrupted.
Also, you have your lunch hour to meet a friend, go shopping, or drop off the dry-cleaning. Moms who stay at home don't have that luxury.
Lots of other women are in the same boat.
Talk to other working moms (your company is probably full of them!) It really helps.
You are doing what's best for your family.
Whatever your reasons are for working, try to feel good about it. If you have very negative feelings, chances are your baby will pick up on that. Happy mom, happy baby!
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