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It's not your life, you don't have to like it
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Dear Lauren: My sister and her husband just had their seventh child in ten years. And while I’m happy for them and love my nieces and nephews, I fail to understand why they keep having kids. My brother-in-law works full time, but my sister is a stay at home mom. They’re always scraping for money and they never take vacations. The kids wear each other’s hand-me-downs. My sister never buys anything new for herself, and it really bothers me. I’ve never told her that I feel she’s overextending herself, but I do think she has too many kids. What would be the best way to say that? Thanks, Carrie
Dear Carrie:
It’s not your place to tell your sister and her husband how to live their life. Or to judge them.
As long as they’re more responsible than Octomom, Nadya Suleman (and really, who isn’t?) it doesn’t matter if they have seven children, or seventeen. Your brother-in-law works for a living; your sister is at home raising the children…what’s wrong with that? Why is your way of life—whatever that may be—better than the way your sister has chosen?
Remember that some people don’t place a lot of emphasis on clothes. They know that a coat doesn’t have to be brand new to keep a child warm. To those same people, family is more important than money, and inexpensive togetherness anywhere all year long is better than expensive togetherness for a week in an exotic location.
The best way to tell your sister how you feel would be to sit down in front of your computer, type everything you want to say, read through it a dozen times, then hit the delete button. It’s the perfect way to say everything you want to say without hurting anyone’s feelings. Try it. Writing can be very therapeutic, and you’ll be surprised by how much better you feel. And if it bothers you so much that your sister never has anything new, drive yourself to the mall and buy her something nice.
Lauren Sharman
romantic suspense author
2006 P&E Reader’s Poll BEST AUTHOR
www.LaurenSharman.com
Looking for tell-it-like-it-is relationship advice? Send me your questions at: AskLaurenAdvice@gmail.com
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