Wolverine: Those are not jazz hands

May 1, 5:37 PMPortland Movie ExaminerIan Sawyer

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Wolverine: looking sharp

There’s one thing I’ve taken away from each installment of the X-Men film franchise: I want to be a mutant. I’m not entirely sure what mutation I want. But I want one. Maybe: being able to drink a case of Molson XXX without a hangover. Maybe: being able to telepathically control dollar bills. Or maybe: being able to inhale harmful pollutants and exhale clean air. Either way, walking out of the theater after X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I cursed my boring, mutation-free genetics. It’s hard out here for a mortal.

In all seriousness, though, the X-Men franchise’s most attractive quality is its ability to take the ‘us against them’ themes associated with racism and ethnic conflict and fictionally turn them on their head, magnifying the good and evil in people and establishing possibilities of redemption. However, this latest installment, focusing on the development of Wolverine (Hugh Jackman, jacked up on more than jazz, here), is much less layered, and refreshingly straightforward. A short and sweet plot has Jackman’s Jimmy Howlett, AKA Logan, realizing his mutations (regenerative healing, superhuman senses, strength, agility, stamina, longevity, and, above all, retractable claws) as a child and joining his similarly endowed older brother, Victor (Leiv Schreiber), AKA Sabretooth, throughout a host of 19^th and 20^th century wars. Over time (the course of the opening credits), an estrangement is established between the brothers: Logan is a conscientious pacifist with a penchant for the simple life, and Victor is a bloodthirsty warrior, embracing his animal instincts and strengths. The rest of the film is basically a revenge story, with ample setups and scenarios for other mutants to join in on the explosive fun.

From the moment Logan undergoes a government experiment that fuses his skeleton with fictional alloy adamantium, there’s no doubt who’s in control: Hugh Jackman. I can do without Jackman as a dancing, musical Oscar host or an Australia-n cowboy. But as Wolverine, Jackman is as perfectly cast as a comic book hero as Heath Ledger was a villain. Also in on the A$$-kickery are Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds), Gambit (Taylor Kitsch (for the ladies)), and mind-blowingly powerful Weapon XI (action star/stuntman Scott Adkins). The ending—one long, testosterone-heavy, hand-to-hand combat piece of eye-candy—is satisfying enough to warrant (and set up) other X-Men Origins spin-offs. Be sure to stick around for the end credits, by the way.  

Will Wolverine be the most memorable action film of the summer? No. Star Trek will have something to say about that next weekend. But, at least it’s May. And next barbeque, I’m going to wish I had retractable tongs and spatulas coming out of my forearms. I wonder if adamantium is non-stick…