My relationship would be perfect if....

October 18, 7:08 PMMiami Relationships ExaminerDr. Erica Goodstone

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Attitude of Gratitutde

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Have you ever thought to yourself, "My life would be perfect if only I ... finished school, got a new job, bought or sold my home, found a new lover....?"  A wonderful book, Living a Five Star Life by Betty Mahalik suggests that it is not the job, the home, the lover, or any other life changing event that leads to the happiness we are seeking.

If you have lived long enough, you have probably had a direct experience of this phenomenon.  Perhaps you actually quit or were fired from an unsatisfying job and then landed a "perfect" new job.  But a few days, weeks or months later, the novelty and appreciation wore off.  Again you found yourself dissatisfied and seeking change. 

Perhaps you have had this experience with relationships.  Either you were lonely seeking someone to be with or you were in an unhappy relationship longing to get out and be free again.  Then you manage to meet someone new and begin a romance or you actually break away from the person you want to leave.  But a few days, weeks or months later, the novelty and appreciation has worn off.  Again, you are feeling dissatisfied, restless, lonely, depressed or some other uncomfortable emotions.

Betty Mahalik presents a simple formula to create joy and satisfaction with your lilfe and all those situations you currently find impossible to accept.  The first step is to bring yourself right into the present.  Instead of focusing on some future time and different situation to feel that you life or your relatonship is okay, bring yourself right into the present moment.  Develop "an attitude of gratitude."  Discover, reveal and seek out what you are grateful for, right now, right here, without making any changes.

Are you healthy?  Do all or at least some of your senses function adequately?  Do you have close friends or family you care about?  Do you have any material possesions you love?  Do you own a beloved precious pet?  Look deeply into your own life and find those things that you can truly appreciate, right here, right now.  Don't assume they will always be there.  The only thing inevitable in life is change.  Everything will eventually change.

Now, once you have truly focused on those aspects of your life and your relationships that you can honestly say you are grateful for, now you are ready to take action.  Think before you leap.  Visualize your goals and evaluate what steps you may need to take toward achieving those goals.  Begin now by taking the smallest, easiest, most available steps you can imagine.  Taking small steps begins the process toward change. 

One small relationship step is to respond to whatever your partner says by repeating out loud, "This is what I feel."  it doesn't matter what the other person tries to convince you that you "should" feel.  Begin by saying, "This is what I feel" or "This is waht I want."  The change may not happen immediately.  The change may not happen for quite some time.  But beginning with an attitude of gratitude and then taking small steps can lead to seeming miracles.

Consultation: http://budurl.com/Wellness or http://budurl.com/Reawakening.
Ebook: http://budurl.com/lovetouchhealebooks.
Create Healing and Love Now: http://budurl.com/Createloveheal.