Entrepreneurship is the ticket out of your cubicle, just like Michael Scott

March 13, 12:30 AMLife in the Cubicle ExaminerDudley B. Dawson

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A scaled-back prototype of Brew Balls.

The Office episode Thursday night on NBC featured a host of brilliant business ideas, headlined by Michael Scott's plan for Shoe La La, an upscale Men's shoe store.  Other ideas included the Toilet Buddy (a circular net you place inside the toilet to catch your change and wallet),  Horse Boat (a canoe built around a horse so you can travel by land or water without slowing), and many other toilet related ideas.

Michael Scott is not alone.  There are millions of workers stuck in life-sucking jobs seeking that one business idea that will catapult us out of our corporate cubes and into freedom, wealth, and a small chance at becoming passionate about something.

For me, that business idea is Brew Balls.

It's a simple concept really.  It is a bar.  It has balls.  And it has lots of both.  Brew Balls will be the first and foremost Adult Ball Pit and Pub in the nation. 

From waist to toe, the entire bar shall be covered in plastic balls.  These balls will be an assortment of colors across the ROYGBIV spectrum.  They will be of standard size, and they will be soft to the touch. 

For the safety of all customers, Brew Balls will not allow glass; all beer and food will be served in or on plastic.  The wait staff will swing from hemp vines.  The acrobatics involved in swinging from hemp vines will require extensive training.  This is why I will employ members of the Shriner's Circus to train the staff on the latest in trapeze arts.

The biggest risk involved in the Brew Balls concept is cleanliness.  Though I have yet to work out the details, I plan to develop a state of the art Adult Ball Pit Pub cleaning system.  This is brilliant for two reasons.

1) I will be the first Adult Ball Pit Pub in the world.  I will resell this state-of-the-art cleaning system to all future Ball Pit Pubs but at astronomical prices.  This will ensure the success of my Ball Pit versus their Ball Pit.
2) Efficiency.

The key to this cleaning system is for the bar to be covered in bathroom tiles from floor to ceiling.  It will be equipped with a large blowing device that has the power of 1000 blow dryers.  The blower device will ensure the proper capture of all plastic balls into a very large net.  This net device will most likely be some sort of mesh material.  At that point, a high pressured watering system will spray down the entire bar.  Urine, vomit, mud, and fecal matter do not stand a chance with this type of water pressure.  Since the bar is already equipped with industrial blowers, these blowers will also be used to dry the bar.  My goal is for this entire process to take place in under 30 minutes.

In summary, Brew Balls will be your average neighborhood Adult Ball Pit Pub, but it will have the technology to operate at highly efficient levels previously unseen in the world of Adult Ball Pit Pubs.

There you have it.  I have laid my cards out for the world to see.  Are you an investor interested in funding this venture?  Are you someone that also has good ideas and you've been waiting for the right time and place to share these ideas?

It's time to stop waiting and time to start becoming entrepreneurs.  I have created a Facebook Group titled "Michael Scott's Shoe La La: The Home for Brilliant Business Ideas".

Don't just live with your mediocrity.  Do something about it and let the world know you are a genius.  I know I am.

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