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The seven habits of highly motivated coworkers (and why you hate them)
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Wikipedia says that motivation is "the activation or energization of goal-oriented behavior". A motivated coworker reads this definition and immediately associates it with work. An indifferent or unmotivated coworker associates the definition with more than just work. Some people live to work. Others work to live. The people that work to live have goals that aren't career oriented. They simply work so they have the financial capability to fulfill their goals in life. As a result, these people often despise the behaviors exhibited by motivated coworkers.
Here are the seven habits of highly motivated coworkers:
1. They work all hours of the day. They are always hard at work when you arrive to your cubicle. You have never once arrived before them, even on the days where you were forced to show up at 7am for some ridiculous meeting in which you have to listen in on a call with developers from India. When you leave work, they are still there and you usually receive an email from them at 11:30pm. You, of course, do not receive the email until the next day. When you go to lunch, they are hard at work. As far as you are aware, they do not eat food. They just work. You are also quite certain they do not sleep, and there's a very good chance that their kids have no idea who they are.
2. During meetings, the motivated employee will bring up topics that they heard at their professional organization meetings. Not only were you unaware of the fact that people actually attend professional organization meetings, but the mere thought of attending this meeting makes you sick to your stomach. The term career networking gives you the chills.
3. They have an MBA or are working toward their MBA. You have always thought about getting an MBA until you realize you're a lazy bastard and have absolutely no motivation. The most motivated MBAers will ask management if they can host "Lunch n' Learn" sessions so they can share all the great knowledge they are learning. You hate them for this. Not only do you hate their confident attitude, but you despise Lunch n' Learns with a passion.
4. Motivated employees are very proactive about adding more tasks to their workday. These people go out of their way to take on a bigger load of work. You have very mixed emotions about this as an unmotivated employee. On one hand, you have an employee making you look like a piece of crap. On the other hand, you have an employee fully willing to take on more work when you tell people you are busy. This can lead to one of two things for an unmotivated employee -- an easy job or no job.
5. They love to use business jargon and business metaphors. One of the key factors in getting promoted is to use the same language that managers use. Since managers rarely have any idea what they're talking about, they love to use buzzwords. For instance, instead of saying, "the business is asking us to build an online application for sales leads" they say "the ASK is to begin a feasibility analysis on developing an online sales portal system".
6. They talk about training for marathons or triathlons. Although they work nearly double the amount of hours that you do, attend professional organization meetings, and are working toward an MBA, they still find time to block off 1-2 hours to workout. You begin to wonder if these people have any friends or family outside of work or do anything that is not productive.
7. Motivated coworkers always dress one level above what is required. If it's a casual workplace, they wear khakis and a polo. If it's business casual, they were a tie. If it's formal, they wear a suit, but are sure to equip it with an expensive trench coat. No matter the situation, you despise them.
> View Dudley's motiviational posters
Have additional habits you'd like to add? Post them in the comments section below.
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'Seven Habits' is a recurring article appearing in Dudley B. Dawson's Life in the Cubicle column at completely random moments.
View the Seven Habits of: Highly Effective Slackers | Highly Annoying Emailers | Disrespectful Work Poopers | Morbidly Obese Coworkers | Typical Bad Managers | Highly Effective Interns | Defective Conference Call Leaders | Incapable Technotards | Highly Anal Employees | Highly Arrogant Employees | Highly Disengaged Employees
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