Joe Schatz is the man behind Joeprah.com and the proud stay-home father of three daughters. His take on parenting has drawn praise from national media, and his daughters think he's alright, too.

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Palin's Folly: Parenting Meets Politics

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How to Destroy an Annoying McDonalds Toy

Teen Pregnancy: Why the U.S. Lags Behind Europe

Help at the Grocery Store: A Great New Product

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Is Your Baby Hitler?

2 comments

May 14, 10:56 AM

by Joe Schatz, Parenting Examiner

Have you noticed that you have been getting ordered around an awful lot lately? Is the person doing the ordering a zealot who seems to have an unquenchable thirst for power? Is this person also under 2 1/2 feet tall and less then 2 years old? Then you may have a case of Baby Hitler-itis, also known in the medical field as BH. I started to notice the signs early on but not until just a few days ago did I really begin to understand how severe it was getting. Here is an actual photo taken just moments before from whenever you are reading this:

Needless to say, this was a wakeup call for me. The signs were all there, but why didn't I take care of this problem in its infancy? I blame alcohol and pills, plus violence on TV (it is so entertaining). Do you too want to know what you can do to identify the signs of BH? You can go to any BH Website and get a list of the signs or you can trust my overly-qualified list that follows.

Child is looking to you to do menial tasks like diaper change, bathing them, etc. This is a commonly overlooked sign. If you give in too easily here it can quickly spiral out of control.
Child looks at you as their jailer. Lets face it, kids need to go somewhere while we watch Sports Center or play Tiger Woods 2007 and they soon start to act out through crying when they are put into their cribs. This is also known as the "I Know I am Tired But I Don't Want to Take My Nap Now" State or IKIT-BID-WTMNN State.
You are peed on. Children doing this are very close to stage 4. At this point some babies may actually begin to goosestep like they are in military procession. Children in this stage will also throw food off their high chairs and cups onto the ground without warning.
Child writes a story about their struggle. Now what to look for here is the innocent looking scraps of paper with "doodles" or their nasty big brother "scribbles." "Doodles" and "Scribbles" are carefully orchestrated codes. Loops indicate aggression. Swipes are signs of larger plans. "Dots"...lets just hope you don't see those.

Signs of Trouble Brewing

Child culminates all of this planning into a Coup d'etat which usually happens at either a family gathering or a restaurant when they're invulnerable to parental challenges. Child cries loudly for no reason (see most annoying sound ever). Check mate! Who's in charge now? Your hands are tied, there is nothing you can do except let the little despot take command from here on out. So next time you see a child wailing away in a restaurant with the parents bickering amongst themselves it may very well be a case of BH.

For more from this Examiner you can follow him at his blog here.

Topics: fatherhood , parenting , parenting humor , Hitler , Baby

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Palin's Folly: Parenting Meets Politics

5 comments

September 2, 2:16 PM

Sarah Palin, McCain's VP Selection I am not a political examiner but rather a parenting examiner and when the news came out about Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol, 17, being five months pregnant I cringed. With the U.S. culture spiraling... Read More
Topics: teen , pregnancy , Sarah Palin , Bristol Palin

Sharing History with Your Family: The 2008 Democratic National Convention

1 comment

July 30, 5:09 PM

Now, as a parent it may seem difficult to know where to begin when talking to your kids about politics but this year’s election gives all parents a great place to start. The upcoming 2008 Democratic National Convention is an excellent opportunity... Read More
Topics: DNC

How to Destroy an Annoying McDonalds Toy

1 comment

July 28, 11:51 PM

The number one distributor of toys in the world is McDonalds and nearly all of these toys I would classify as being annoying. The toys are either poorly constructed, serve little to no purpose and most notably they make annoying sounds making them the... Read More
Topics: parenting , parenting humor , mcdonald's

Teen Pregnancy: Why the U.S. Lags Behind Europe

2 comments

July 15, 11:38 PM

Of all the industrialized countries in the world, the U.S. has, by far, the highest instance of teenage pregnancies with a rate that more than doubles the nearest competitors. After posting on the topic earlier this week, I did some further research... Read More
Topics: parenting , teens , portrayal , pregnant women , teen , pregnancy

Help at the Grocery Store: A Great New Product

3 comments

July 14, 11:09 AM

I recently had the pleasure to test out a really cool product from a real life inventor mom. After talking to her a few times on Twitter I decided to check out her site and, you know what, she came up with something brilliant. Ladies are... Read More

Is Jamie Lynn Spears OK?

15 comments

July 13, 2:28 PM

As teen pregnancy rates run rampant ‘OK’ magazine thinks it’s ‘ok’ to put out an article that supports/glamorizes Jamie Lynn Spears as a mom and her recent delivery. What young girls in the US need now is a teen-idol-turned-pregnant-teen-turned-new-mom... Read More
Topics: parenting , portrayal , teen , pregnancy

My Kid is Smarter/Stronger/Better Than Yours: Comparitivitis

4 comments

July 8, 1:22 PM

On a recent playgroup date I had I was sitting there talking to a group of moms and it happened. One mom said was talking about the developmental milestones of their toddler and said something like, “My _____ (insert trendy name like Caden... Read More
Topics: parenting , children , comparitivitis , hyper parenting , comparisons

It's Hip to Be a Pregnant Teen

8 comments

July 7, 1:44 PM

By now you have heard of the 17 teenage girls in Gloucester, Mass. which may or may not have had a pact to get pregnant during the course of this last school year. The Gloucester High School students were actually visibly disappointed when they... Read More
Topics: teen , pregnancy , gloucester , juno , The Secret Life of The American Teenager

This Just In: Toddlers Clog Toilets

2 comments

June 18, 3:21 PM

Recently, I have had an epiphany of sorts. I can no longer deny the fact that has been staring me in the face since this past Christmas—toddlers clog toilets. My three year old, who potty trained herself during this past Christmas holiday,... Read More
Topics: toddler , toilet , plunger , bathroom