So you want to be a Stay-at-Home Dad? Part VI

March 27, 8:48 AMFatherhood ExaminerJoe Schatz

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Being a Stay-at-Home Dad isn't all Bad

With so many changes to the traditional work environment and with the economy tanking, we are seeing a lot of families make the choice to bring daddy home. So, if you are a dad out there considering becoming a SAHD, I am here to scare you straight. It is tough being a full-time parent. I, personally, think it is more challenging staying home with kids then it is to work. This series is intended to show potential stay at home dads the reality behind the choice to become a full-time parent.

Last Week’s Topic: The Daily Grind

This Week’s Topic: The Positives

Today we are going to look at The Positives to being a stay-at-home dad.  We are going to take a logistical look at these positives/perks and what unsuspected wonders await the stay-at-home dad.  Keep in mind these positive don’t include all the parenting high points (or the real positives) which we take a look at with next week’s topic The Intangibles. 

Naps

Naps are probably the most awesome thing that God invented.  If I could choose between naps and gold I would pick naps.  Naps happen when you are a stay-at-home parent—period.  Naps don’t happen when you are working a day job (well, at least they aren’t suppose to).  Some days, when I am stressed out from my inability to find a child’s missing shoe or if the dishes are getting me down, I just look over at my friend Mr. Green Comfy Couch and nod in affirmation. 

I have become a nap connoisseur in my eight plus year stint as a stay-at-home dad, and I have done it all.  I have done the mid-morning-I-went-to-bed-late-last-night-nap, I have done the I-just-ate-too-much-in-the-middle-of-the-day-thank-goodness-my-toddler-wants-to-relax-too-nap, and the I-can’t-believe-I-folded-six-loads-of-laundry-and-mowed-the-lawn-and-it-is-only-two-in-the-afternoon-nap.   To take a nap you will need your child to be asleep as well—no sleeping on the job.  Also, I have found that toddlers make great nap partners.

Food

When you are home you can literally eat yourself into oblivion.  Food is all around you and there is nothing stopping you from eating it.  I have become a much better baker since I became a stay-at-home dad.  Homemade bread, cakes, brownies, biscuits—you name it I have baked it.  Cooking is fun too.  I have enjoyed experimenting with new recipes and adding my spin on old ones.  For instance, I love spicy food so instead of just plain old broccoli and cheese soup I like to make broccoli and smoked Gouda soup with ancho chilies.  Anyone will tell you my mashed potatoes are the bomb, and if you don’t think my buffalo wings should be in your top 10 top 5 top 3 wings of all time you have issues. 

With all this access to food it can be overwhelming, but most people would say that two of their favorite things in the world are sleeping and eating and both are available if you play your cards right.

Being a Kid Again

I love cartoons.  I love toys.  Kids love both of these things.  Now that I am around kids all the time, I can watch cartoons and play with toys—sometimes I can do both at the same time.  There is nothing like building a Lego castle while watching The Misadventures of Flapjack or Spongebob Squarepants.  Stay-at-home parents have an excuse as to why they are watching shows like Phineas and Ferb or The Mighty B!  No one questions them, no one tells them to ‘grow up.’  It is just part of the job.

When you stay home with the kids you can goof off and play with the kids like a kid.  Most of the moms at the outdoor parks are very stiff and just watch their kids as they run around the playground—not me.  I like being a part of the action too.  I mean, I am not ruining a game of tag, but I do enjoy climbing with them and playing wiffle ball or Frisbee when we hit the park scene.

Most of the moms at the outdoor parks are very stiff and just watch their kids as they run around the playground—not me.  I like being a part of the action too.

Acting like a kid, I have found, really reduces your stress level and I highly recommend it to all stay-at-home parents.

TV

Like I mentioned before, cartoons are great and I get my fair share, but there are other awesome shows on TV.  Sportscenter is one such show that is always available.  You can do the dishes with Kenny Mayne in the background or fold laundry while you watch the highlights from last night’s action.  During the Mens NCAA Basketball Tournament you can watch the opening games from the comfort of your home while other folks are scrambling around the office internet trying to get updates. 

Bottom line, the TV can be on when you want it on—although, many times it will need to be on a kids channel. 

Personal Hygiene

If you don’t want to shave—don’t do it.  If you think the clothes you wore for the last two days still have life—keep wearing them.  It is your show.  You can shower bi-weekly and wear baseball hats 24/7 if you like.  I do not condone this kind of behavior though as it will result in a steep drop off in your sex life and perhaps acne, colds and other health concerns. 

Bottom line, if you want to take a day off from maintaining yourself—feel free.

It’s Your Show

You are the boss of your house.  If you want to play music all day and do housework in your boxer shorts, that’s your prerogative.  The day job has very black and white ideas of what is allowable behavior during work hours—not so much for the stay-at-home crowd.  Using the vacuum as a pretend microphone or making loud monster roars when you are chasing your kids around won’t get you fired.  Being a goofy, active parent is actually a good thing and kids totally gravitate towards it.

Want to play Xbox while you do the laundry?  Who’s stopping you?  Moms have scrapbooking and Oprah, dads should be allowed to pursue their hobbies and interests while they are at home too.  If you like mountain biking get a trailer ASAP and start riding everywhere you go.  Your kids will love it and the exercise and vitamin D will benefit you.  You’re the boss each and every day—take advantage of it.

After five articles detailing all the rigors associated with being a stay-at-home dad, today we got a chance to look at some of the positives.  Do they outweigh the challenges?  Does it even itself out?  Next week, in our final chapter, we will take a look at all The Intangibles.