My Kid is Smarter/Stronger/Better Than Yours: Comparitivitis

July 8, 1:22 PMFatherhood ExaminerJoe Schatz

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On a recent playgroup date I had I was sitting there talking to a group of moms and it happened.  One mom said was talking about the developmental milestones of their toddler and said something like, “My _____ (insert trendy name like Caden here) was walking at around 10 months.”  For all of you that don’t know, that’s kind of early to start walking but not unheard of for sure.  Soon after mom #1 had said this, mom #2 chimed in with, “Oh my ____ (insert different trendy name like August here) was walking at 7 months.”  Now 10 months isn’t ridiculous, but 7 months…yeah, way early to be walking.  What is at work here?

What I have come to realize is that there are two groups of parents; one group has a reasonable understanding for their child’s skills, while the other group of parents have a warped view of their child’s abilities.  

I have been in playgroup settings where it is literally a competition between 2 or 3 moms who are in one way or another highlighting their kid’s attributes to near mythical proportions.  All the while I see the tots slobbering all over toys and each other and gnawing on seat cushions.  Where are all the geniuses I wonder? 

After doing some research, I found there is actually a diagnosable condition called comparitivitis. Yeah, I’m serious.  Comparitivitis or Hyper Parenting Disorder has many faces.  It could come in the form of a mom that swears up and down that little Casey was reading at 14 months while playing the cello or it could be the dad flipping out in the stands watching his 4 year old trip over a soccer ball.  It maybe the parent that over schedules activities for their kids or a mom or dad that is a complete pushover and will give into any request their kids ask of them. 

For many parents out there the problems don’t end there.  Some parents use hyper parenting to compare their own children.  “Emily was reading way earlier than you, Sally, what’s your problem?”  If you find yourself comparing your kids with other children or even their siblings you may be hyper parenting.  I have met many hyper parents in my short stint as a dad, so I can say that I see that there is a problem out there that needs some attention.  Here are a few links that shed light on the issue of Hyper Parenting:

• Parental Peer Pressure
• Hyper Parenting
• The Wellness Connection - Hyper Parenting

Have you ever met a parent suffering from comparitivitis?  Have you yourself had issues in this department?