The First Annual Cable News Alternate Titles Contest

April 24, 1:02 PMLA Political Satire ExaminerBilly Duberstein

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I don’t know if you all know this, but when a major cable news network launches a news show, they ask a bunch of Hollywood entertainment executives for “zazzy” alternative titles to the straightforward ones they usually go for.

Due to my incredible reporting dexterity, I have managed to uncover the top choices that were submitted to these cable news networks before the titles were nixed, in favor of the boring old titles that now appear on your television.

The news networks initially sought these titles to let the average layperson, who might not already watch their shows, better ascertain the type of program that exists behind the name.

So, to reveal the alternative titles to the shows you know and love, click on the links below and it will take you to the alternative title with a nice picture or illustrative youtube video!

I’ve also decided to hold a contest. This is your big chance, people. Listen up.  If you think you can come up with a better alternative title to a show below, or for a show I did not mention, feel free to enter your entry in the comments section below and I will give it the credit it is due.... I’ll post the winners in a later column, giving you the instant fame and exposure of a column that is read by, literally, dozens of human beings.

CNN

1. Anderson Cooper 360

2. Campbell Brown: No Bias

3. The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer

4. Lou Dobbs

MSNBC

5. The Rachel Maddow Show

6. Countdown with Keith Olbermann

7. Hardball with Chris Matthews

8. Meet The Press

FOX NEWS

9. Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace

10. Huckabee

11. Hannity

12. Glenn Beck

13. The O'Reilly Factor

OTHER CHANNELS (not on cable, but oh well)

14. This Week with George Stephanopolous

15. The McLaughlin Group

16. The View