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Take Maria Shriver's lead, embrace signs from a loved one who has passed on
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Maria Shriver, chair of the Women's Conference
Shortly before her mother died, Maria Shriver leaned over her bedside and whispered, “Now mother, listen to me. When you get up there [in heaven], you have got to stay in contact with me.”
“Because the truth is,” she said, “I’m not really sure what to do without you. So please Mommy, send me signs from time to time, so I know you’re okay.”
She told her mother that she would never, ever stop needing her.
On Tuesday, during the 2009 Women’s Conference in Long Beach, the California First Lady described how her mother, Eunice Shriver, delivered on that promise fairly quickly. In August, a day after her mother's funeral, a former nun who worked with the late Mother Teresa, came to see her. Shriver recalled how the woman appeared near her Hyannis Port home with prayer cards signed by Mother Teresa, a friend of Eunice Shriver’s. The woman gave the cards to Shriver and walked away.
Shriver caught sight of her a few minutes later standing by the ocean. Fully clothed the woman waded into the water.
“The only other person I had ever seen walk into the ocean fully dressed was my mother,” Shriver said.
She ran to the water and shouted repeatedly to the woman, “Who are you? Who sent you here?”
The woman said, “Your mother and the Virgin Mary sent me here to you.”
That day, Aug. 15, was The Feast of the Assumption, a Catholic holy day in honor of Mary. Shriver said the woman told her of an old Irish proverb, in which every Aug. 15, you must go into the water.
The two of them walked hand and hand into the water and prayed.
“I walked right into the water, into my own sea of grief, into my own sea of loss, and I prayed,” she said.
Afterwards, she sat down alone on a rock and cried, knowing that her mother was reaching out and letting her know that she was okay and at peace.
"Grief cracks your heart into little pieces," Shriver said to the audience. “And that hurts big time…sometimes it’s even hard to breathe.”
Before my mom passed away, three years ago, I made the same plea that Shriver made to her mother. I asked my mother to send me signs that she was with me. She promised that she would.
The signs have come in many different and obvious forms; a thought or an overwhelming sense of her presence in my spirit; a photo of her that is suddenly out of place; a phone call from one of her friends.
The very first sign came the day after she died. While sitting with family and friends in my living room, I heard my mother’s voice, in my mind, say, “Adrianne, call Rosemary.”
She was a longtime friend and maid of honor in her wedding more than 50 years ago. They seldom talked, and I never would have thought, on my own, to call and inform of her of my mom’s passing.
It was surprisingly easy to reach her. Turned out she was living temporarily in Hawaii, and very grateful to hear from me.
The thing is, I miss my mother so much, that I have not always embraced these signs enough to let them heal me.
Last Sunday morning, she appeared in my dream. Although I was sleeping, it was more of a vision than a dream. At first, I could not bear to approach her because I feared that she was not real.
She smiled radiantly and took hold of my arms, reassuring me that she was real.
The first thing she told me was that she is “Supremely Happy.” And then she told me to believe in myself. Trust all that I know is true. And yes, she is always with me.
Have you ever known someone who was in doubt about something that you were certain of, but you could not get them to see the light?
I liken that to how it must be with our loved ones who have passed on. In the presence of God, they have all of the answers. They know all, but they just can’t quite get those of us who are left behind, to see the light.
I am learning, in my healing, to be willing to see the light and embrace the signs.
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