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Dear Dr. Swain, I am sure you've heard this one before, but honestly I am at a loss as to what to do. My husband is fat. Not just chubby, but right out obese. He has gotten so fat that his penis now disappears into a pad of fat across his groin. We used to have a great sex life, but since he's gained so much weight we rarely do it anymore. He has gotten so fat that if he laid on top of me I'd stop breathing. If I'm on top, his fat pad makes his penis so small that he can't get inside me. Any ideas what we should do? I miss the closeness of our sex life.
Too often we limit what we mean when we say sex to mean simply penis / vagina insertion. There are plenty of other variations on sex that could meet your needs until your husband gets his obesity under control. There is of course oral sex as well as mutual masturbation to consider as possible alternatives. Your husband could also use a vibrator to stimulate you. Finally, intercourse in the "doggy" style, with your hips in the air and he behind you, might be best for you to try. This position is usually the most comfortable for heavy partners and it is the most penis extending position for intercourse. Best of luck.