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Cynicism: Are we 'ruining it'?
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Photo courtesy of Robyn Gallagher: flickr.com/photos/robyn-gallagher
After a decade in the dating pool, it’s inevitable that some people crack under the pressure and become cynics. The break-ups and breakdowns can crush optimism and the belief that perfect love exists. Eventually, the cynics become bitter people who rally against relationships, love and anything connected to the two.
Unfortunately, I have been guilty of this. The worst part: it was in front of my impressionable pre-teen sister. Luckily she is one smart cookie and finally said, “Kate, stop. You’re ruining it for me!” She was half joking but 100 percent serious. It was at that moment that I realized what I was doing.
My playful jabbing at happy couples walking down the street. The eye roll kissing newlyweds get from me. Placing bets on who will break whose heart as I watch a couple on their first date across the restaurant.
Perhaps we become too comfortable being single and on our own. We put our trust in only ourselves. We become insensitive. We doubt the happiness that supposedly comes along with having a plus one. See? I did it again: supposedly.
Is there a cure for this? I guess only the diagnosis can tell. But, pinpointing why relationship cynics think the way they do is just as difficult as deactivating a bomb, I’m sure.
The important part is that we see it. And when we see it, we decide if that’s really the person we want to be. Sure, it’s a risk to open back up. And sure, you will have to make a conscious effort to keep yourself from having a knowing smirk when couples argue as they walk through the park.
It may take years for me to shake my cynicism, but I know there is a pinch of optimism left. I know that because of the way I felt when my younger sister confronted me. I do not want to “ruin it” for the next generation. Mistakes will be made and hearts will break. But, in the process, we will have those times that make up the best parts of our life… right? I’ll find out and report back. You do the same!
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