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“Believe it or not, talking about money can actually be a wonderful vehicle to deepen a couple’s relationship," according to Mikelann Valterra, founder of the Women’s Earning Institute in Seattle. “But couples need to really understand each other’s 
‘money personality’ to understand what motivates their partner around money—why they do what they do with money. Too often, a couple’s financial discussions get stuck at the level of numbers.”
To go to a deeper level, Mikelann recommends that couples pick a neutral time (not when there’s a financial conflict erupting between the two of you) and then tell each other stories about your early money memories. Like the time you went to the store when you were eight and lost your dime. Or the “huge” success you had with the lemonade stand. And remember to tell each other how your parents dealt with money. Who was your family’s financial officer and was there tension about money matters?
Mikelann suggests that money symbolizes different things to different people: power, control, security, or love, for example. Listen to your partner’s stories and try to learn what it tells you about your partner. According to Mikelann, “Even couples who think they know everything about their partner can find out something new when they share early money stories.” She adds, “Sharing your money autobiographies with your partner can help you both gain appreciation and love for each other.”
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