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So you think you can talk politics in public?
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"George is getting upset!"
You’re a strong-willed individual. Look at you, dressing well and having the world by the short and curlys. Way to go, and a hearty congratulations are due to you and those that helped you get there. You’ve gotten this far and been successful at it in everything that your mind was set to getting done. You’ve made it, you’re a big bright shining star, and everyone knows it. But what the hell did I just overhear you loudly talking about at the table next to me at this restaurant? Politics?!
I think it’s a great time to be alive in this world. Just look at all the technology and methods of communication we have. There is so much that you can do with all the capabilities which exist at your very fingertips. You can instant message someone across the world with a few clacks of the keyboard on your phone. Even mentioning that idea to someone just 30 short years ago would have caused them to chortle a few seconds and you’d be told to “keep on truckin’” or some such antiquated phrase from that time. So it’s a great time, but are you really aware of what’s around you?
Yes, you there, in the nice clothes. Did you realize that your very mention of politics in this public restaurant is upsetting my friends over here at our table? No, you didn’t? Well, therein lies your problem.
People are too sensitive in public when it comes to the very discussion of politics, that’s all there is to it. I’ve personally learned this one the hard way, many times over. Now, I’m as stubborn as I think a person can get. Bullheadedness runs on every branch of my family tree, but it also runs rampant in this pervasive American society of ours. In this culture of instant gratification that we live and breathe in, there are a growing number of blatant jerks who just don’t seem to care or give credence to anyone around them, regardless of where they are and what they’re doing.
So you’re going to be obtuse about your behavior? I’m going to set you straight in a tone that you’re going to hear me in. Yes you, so sit down and perk up those flesh-colored mudflaps you call ears, jackball. There exists the rule in talking about controversial things in public, politics and religion to name two things at the top of that list. This rule can be clearly summed up in one crystal-clear defining manner: if one person within earshot may even possibly get upset by the subject matter, keep it altogether low or completely to yourself until that one person is gone and not within the range of your voice. And don’t do it with your family or loved ones around, especially when there is food or small children present…because someone is going end up crying like a little girl with a skinned knee or get a pie in their face because of what you were so brazen to start. Wordy that is, yes, but heed the advice that I’m giving you here, as you will benefit from it greatly.
This rule really is a pain in the ass. It would sure be nice if anyone could mention anything in public and it not turn into a scene of drama or a public outcry of some sort. Every community is going to set their own rules as to what’s appropriate for public consumption. Very much like how you can’t say certain things on television in certain channels in this country, and then on other ones you can get away with as many four and ten-letter massacres as you want, the same principle applies. And that principle is the wonderful phrase Mr. Sligh taught me in my senior year of high school: “know your audience and respect them, because if you don’t, they won’t be your audience for much longer”. Man that guy sure is smart.
We’re both better people for having discussed what we have today. You shared your thoughts in a civil manner, as did I. Conversing for a moment dissolved any hostility that may have escalated the matter into an ugly argument or even potential fisticuffs. Choosing to be courteous to others outside your immediate area shows that you have good character, and are a valuable patron of this restaurant that we’re both eating in today. And that I’m speaking like a totally condescending d--chebag during these italicized remarks has just become abundantly clear to me, for I shall stop doing so immediately, and actually may prevent me from incurring further ridicule.
So that’s what you have to do. Mind others and they’ll hopefully mind you back. Someone is invariably going to get upset or thrown at something that you say, that is unless you watch everything you say all the time. Such behavior isn’t going to occur because we’re all human, and mistakes are made. Religion is mentioned outside of your specific religious building of choice (be it a temple, church, mosque, synagogue, or the whathaveyou), politics are debated at bars or restaurants, and off-color jokes protrude their way into the workplace. That’s just how it is, and if we keep potentially taboo things from always bothering us, we’re going to get along together a whole lot easier. Don't get me wrong, make your voice heard...but relax after you've said your piece. You’re screwed otherwise.
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©2009 Andrew Flynn & OHPF Productions, Inc.
All Rights Reserved.
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