I felt like a complete outsider inside the massive warehouse. I read off off a website (http://www.drinkcocaine.com/distributor.htm) that this is the place to go to get some of the good stuff, but everyone there was milling around looking stern. I finally went to a lady in the corner who looked like she might be friendly, and asked her if I could score some off her. She looked up at me and smiled. " Unless you want to buy a big shipment we can't sell small amounts from here." (seems you can only buy them there in the case, and that seemed just plain excessive). She asked some of her other associates around if there were samples I could try, but alas - I walked away empty handed. She did helpfully give me the names and phone numbers of her small time dealers, so I could go to them for a small score, as well as asking for my phone number so in case more shipments come in she might be able to hook me up with some freebies!

So later that afternoon I pulled up at the side of this seedy liquor store, trying not to pay attention to the guy peeing on the wall of the establishment or the couple having a screaming fight near the entrance, and sidled in, finding the clerk and finally buying my very first taste of Cocaine - and how very harsh it was! If this were not for this kind of substance, I might not have cared, but the fact that to get this drink I had to actually walk through this gauntlet made me a bit surprised there wasn't 70s disco or 80s Miami Vice neon everywhere. On first ingestion, it burned my throat and made me sneeze, but was definitely getting me amped as I spent the rest of the day in a buzz. While I am not sure if I will try it again, I am glad I was able to at least give it a shot before the government cracks down on it again (they got in trouble from the FDA for advertising it as both a street drug alternative and a dietary supplement) !

Cocaine Energy Drink was pulled from U.S. shelves as a result of the FDA's decision that Cocaine was "illegally marketing their drink as an alternative to street drugs", and Redux Beverages began working on a new name for the product immediately. At the end of May, 2007, the Redux team decided to change the name to "No Name:" energy drink, with the new can label. Sort of. For 2008, it seems that while released back to market, its probably not going to be in your local Wal-mart any time soon. For an energy drink, I could not see this as an everyday kinda thing. But as an every once in a while thing, when going out to swingers parties or hanging out in your new Ferrarri Testarossa, this drink would fit right in!

Buzz/Nutrition:9
Cocaine is PACKED full of caffeine, almost like a Spike, however it is completely without the palpitation inducing anhydrous mixed with other potent weight loss ingredients that other high caffeine dietary supplements do. I found the 280mg per 8oz can to be a great pick me up, without feeling like my heart was going into palpitation mode. I also sipped this drink, as the taste was purposely harsh and burning, forcing smaller swallows. The drink also features a healthy dose of taurine at 750mg and the usual drink mix. Other than a couple extra flavors, there is nothing remarkable about the ingredient list - which I actually appreciated. With a name as incendiary as this, just having be a normal energy drink with a ton of caffeine is more than enough.

Taste:8
The taste was VERY surprising to me - definitely unique. This is one drink that you will either love, or never touch again. They spice this with cayenne pepper - so it burns while sipping and smelling, and can warm your insides. I took a big drink, then coughed a little, , thought it strange so I smelled the drink, and ended up sneezing and rubbing my nose - which was very fitting. while the first few tastes are hard to get down, it gets easier as you drink, so by the end of the can you can actually taste the flavor, which was actually pretty good.

"WARNING: This message is for people too stupid to recognise the obvious. This product does not contain the drug cocaine (duh). This product is not intended to be anything other than an energy drink."

It is absolutely impossible to feel sad and have a slurpee. I have encountered it many times, with many slurpers and is the one sure fire way to feel better on a hot day. It does not matter the flavor, the slurpee is the one thing which can always produce childlike glee. Not Icee - the distant cousin that should, but is not even close, to the frozen 711 treat found across the nation. It needs to be the real thing - a big frozen carbonated slurpee with the goofy bubble top. And there could be no better marriage at the 7-11 than an flavorful blue energy Slurpee.

Taste:8
There is something so comfort-food about Slurpee. Maybe because I grew up in suburbia and downtown Metropolis. To me, summers always meant scorching days in blazing heat and cooling off under the shade of the skyscrapers with a freezing Slurpee giving me the chills. When I moved to small towns for a couple decades, I kept looking at 7-11s as the Cornerstone of Civilization. If there is a 7-11 near me, that means traffic jams, smog all the warm feelings I get surrounded by a million busy people. The addition of my favorite hobby to the coziest cool drinks around make for a fantastic combination - oh yeah - and I guess the taste is pretty decent too. Even if this actually tasted like cockroach feces, I probably would still be biased favorably to it - so don't look to me for an objective point of view on this one.

The word guru, a noun, means "teacher" in Sanskrit and in other languages derived from Sanskrit, such as Hindi, Marathi, Bengali, Gujarati and Nepali.  Thee is a ton of information most energy drinks can learn from this simple can - from the use of color and attractive packaging, to how you don't need to pack these things with scary ingredients that make it taste like rocket fuel to create a winning energy drink.  And the urge to mass produce drinks that have the consistancy and sweetness of a root beer with chocolate sauce in it is less favorable than a unique carefully crafted and complex taste.  This is also an energy drink - and so it would make sense to put more caffeine from organic sources than the average redbull clone, without going overboard and getting in legal troubles with kids ODing on them at parties.  This drink is great to drink even warm(!!) something you can rarely say about any drinks in this category.

It does not take a whole lot for me to become enamored of a product - it just has to exceed my expectations in one of the 3 categories I judge - and be OK in the others. I like Spike Energy Shooter becuase the kick is palpatation inducing, and the can and taste I can live with. I deal with the taste and calories of a NOS because of the decent kick and the one of the Cleverest Packages Ever.
Guru became a favorite because the packing is really nice, the taste is delicious, and the kick is pretty strong. This one has become my standard in which others have been measured, especially when a drink aspires to be more than just a tast carbonated treat like Monster. I have yet to find a can whick can so evenly provide all 3 of my essentials, even if it is not a master of it's class.

Buzz/Nutrition:8.5
The guarana in Guru really does the trick, and the amount of other Whole Foods Pharmaceuticals packed inside must do somethingto assist 125mgs of guarana filled caffeine, as usually dont keep me going for nearly as long. Panax ginseng, ginkgo biloba and echinacea are not ones usually associated with energy drinks, but work well here. The buzz is a gentle four  hours of mental and physical acuity, and absolutely no crash (YAY NATURAL CAFFEINE!) They also have enough natural organic ingredients I felt almost healthier after drinking it.

Taste:8
The grape juice and cane juice added quite enough sweetness, without needing to resort to all the usual devices that can muck up taste and texture. No HFCS or sucralose or even fructose/glucose syrup - just organic juice concentrate. I have heard this compares to a grapefruit or a grape seed - which are fairly accurate. Either way, there is just a little tartness from the can.

Packaging:8
Simple colors, cool fonts, and fits the market well. Everything about this can does the job well, from the fonts chosen, to the logo design that you could tell took time and energy to create.

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