Fry is crying - Slurm sucks

September 2, 4:26 PMCaffeine ExaminerBig Red Boots  

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 Boston America was incorporated in 1995 with the intent of manufacturing and distributing creative, fun and high quality impulse products to the gift and novelty market. While they make lots of different party stuff, they also have their own line of energy drinks, producing over a dozen of them marketed along with licensed tinned candies, branded cookies, air fresheners and cosmetics with whatever characters are popular for that market. Except for 2 very distinctive changes, all their 15 different energy drinks come from the same 3 fluids, then wrapped with a shrink wrapped plastic label before shipped to your closest Sam Goody, Hot Topic, FYE or Spensers Gifts.

Today I am reviewing their Slurm green flavor, also used to create half a dozen other novelty drinks. But some respect must be paid here. Most of the other goofy drinks were never really drinks before, like Stewie's Brain Juice, the Corpse bride drink or Emily drinks. Slurm was actually a product at least - and they did not do too badly with it. For anyone who has watched the show, the motto of Slurm is "It's highly addictive!" and for 3 bucks a pop - it had better be.

Buzz/Nutrition:4
Unfortunately, this was not to be. Philip J. Fry's favorite beverage, Slurm, was made the Slurm Factory on Planet Wormulon, Slurm is the only soft drink for party worm Slurms McKenzie. This incarnation was a blah energy drink full of calories and sugar. This is not made from exotic ingredients, but just high fructose corn syrup, citric acid and a very modest 80mg of caffeine. You could find a buzz in here if you looked really hard - or if you were 11, but for the most of us you would barely notice. Addictive? Hardly.

Taste:5
OK, no one buys this for the taste. It actually could be made out of aliens for all the buyers care. I mean, this was either bought as a joke by the teen mall set used to cenent their place in Dorkdom, or by collectors who have cemented their place there long ago. f you are really a fan of the show, this drink could be made from the excretions of some sluglike creature ( I have been to my share of mall stores over the years, and think that the register handlers are closer to those wormlike creatures on Futurama than you would expect...) Fortunately, this doe s not taste that bad. It is not nearly as bad as it could have been, tasting like sour apple soda. There is a very small bitterness, but that is quickly hidden with all the high fructose corn syrup lingering.

Packaging:4
Problem is, most collectors would pass this one by. Why? Unlike Duff Energy drink (another Boston America product), this one is just a plastic label shrink wrapped around the can. One small scratch, and the whole label peels off and leaves you with a ripped bit of plastic and a bare aluminum crappy energy drink. The design gets close to teh cartoon, which is nice, but not having a listing of caffeine hurts it too. It is just hard to take this company seriously when they churn out so many flavors and just wrap them around whatever they think will sell. http://www.amazon.com/Futurama-Slurm-Energy-Drink/dp/B001BZCBA0