Time is ticking against caffeinated malt liquors

August 26, 1:34 PMCaffeine ExaminerBig Red Boots  

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Even though the companies are smaller, time is running out for alcopops, what was once a rising force in the world of alcoholic beverages.  In years past, there were a growing number of alcoholic energy drinks, all promoted to the younger (21-34 year old ) crowd, placed next to the other malt liquors in liquor and convenience stores across the country.  Sparks was sold to Miller/Coors for millions, Bud got in the game with two different caffeine laced energy drinks, and even even Strohs got in the game.

After the successful lawsuits against Anheuser and Miller/Coors  made many states across the country richer, attorneys general from several states are seeing an opportunity  for queezing money and political gain from the last of the caffeinated alcopos out there, Mainly Joose, a United Brands company, and Four Maxxed, made by Phusion Projects.  Both of these companies have not come under scrutiny before because they are both smaller companies, and therefore harder to sue for the millions and millions the states have sued Anheuser Busch and Miller/Coors for.

These caffeinated alcopops are about as dangerous as their non-alcoholic counterparts, like wine coolers and packaged brands like Smirnoff Ice and Mike's Hard Lemonade.  They all pass the FDA regulation for the amount of caffeine in their drinks (they all have about as much caffeine as  your average cola).  Since these drinks are sold in places where they are all with other liquors and beers, and all have warning stickers stating they are not to be sold to people under 21, and fit into FDA regulations, what could be wrong with them?

Natalie Bauer, a spokeswoman for Madigan, said the attorney general was "actively investigating Phusion" and remains a part of the multistate effort. The attorneys general are examining whether the companies have engaged in misleading marketing.  Basically, they were using the same tactics they all used to extort money out of Busch and Miller/Coors - with the help of the big Politics Machine of Center for Science in the Public Interest.  This takedown makes sense for Attorney's General - For and Joose provide an easy target to make millions. Anheuser-Busch agreed to pay $200,000 each to the 25 states that investigated its practices .  Miller/Coors paid out millions as well, pulling their products off the shelves and halting production.

On the other suits against the major manufacturers of caffeinated alco-pops, the CSPI argued that  caffeinated alcopops are irresistible to kiddies because it is sweet, slightly more alcoholic and flavored.  They will appeal for you to "think of the children" and use facts about how young kids should not drink alcohol along with statistics on college-aged drinking on campus to put pressure on United Brands and Phusion to settle out of court for a huge sum.  They will point out that mixing caffeine and alcohol is a mix akin to PCP use (forgetting that people have been doing this for decades with Kahlua, Baileys Irish Cream, Jack and Coke, and countless cocktails).

The problem is this.  While Bud and Coors might have thought of the lawsuit in terms of PR, Four and Joose make up the extent of their business profile.  While Sparks and Tilt were one of a number of drinks made by these companies, pulling the caffeine our of Four and Joose, they will lose any market they have.  Not only that, but by bringing a lawsuit against them, you will strip away all value the company has, bringing down the company. 

Sources:

My section of reviews of caffeinated alcopops
http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local-beat/Chicago-Malt-Liquor-Energy-Drinks-54553897.html
http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-juice24-2009aug24,0,4217138.story