Even a bluelight special can't save this nightmare - Kmart's Freefall energy

Did your parents ever get you off name brand when you were a kid from KMart?  Are you still brought to tears with the mention of Trax shoes or Route 66 pants? If you answered yes, then you know what I am talking about when I mention the horrors at being caught as the kid in school who shows up in Kmart private label merch that falls apart atvthe slightest provication while all your peers have Levis, Adidas or vans. Freefall falls in line with those horrid products of my youth. This Red Bull wannabe is so abhorrent, I pity the poor kid who brings this drink along with friends who are downing the Rockstars and Boo Koos. Everything from the taste to the package is just so so wrong. I implore any well meaning parents, grandparents, anyone who would even think of bringing ths into their house - you are setting yourself up at being the biggest losers on the block. Just like leaving your dirty underwear on the floor when guests arrive, you want to keep this nastiness well hidden in case there could be any witnesses to your poor taste.

About a year ago, Kmart expanded its American Fare beverage line, adding 32 new products to the private-label brand."It's all about providing choice and value to our customers," stated Tom O'Boyle, vice president and general merchandise manager of food and consumables for Sears Holdings. "We believe Kmart's American Fare is now the most complete line of moderately priced, private-label beverage products in the county... From energy drinks, flavored water, vitamin water and teas popular with teens and young adults, to real juice pouches and mini-bottles of fluoridated water for the entire family, there's a full range of new American Fare beverages."

Unfortunately Tom, you need to actually produce a quality product or kmart will always be seen as the playground joke that it is.

Taste:2
Freefall is what happens when Red Bull gives up on life and becomes a bitter old shell of the creature he used to be. This drink is devoid of any uniqueness or character, trying to live up to other redbull clones, but it's too sour and bitter and just plain wrong. The 8 ounces it comes in are even too much, being unpalatable even for Red Bull Clone standards. This lacks sugar, sweetness and texture, ending up with a mess which is too sour even to be chugged down like Eastwood on firewhiskey. According to Taurine Rules, the companies make the drink bitter to hide the sourness of the caffeine and other energy ingredients. Seems like in this case they failed to even mask the bitterness - as it comes of both sour, bitter and overall an undrinkable mess.


Buzz/Nutrition:4
15 calories and 0 grams of sugar. taurine, glucuronolactone, caffeine, acesulfame potassium, aspartame, inositol, and B Vitamins. So it is like a Red Bull, only not even close. Even Prilabs can make a better drink tan this. MY guess is there is 80mg of caffeine, but I felt very little buzz after holding my nose and downing the thing.  Of course the caffeine content is not listed, and no one at kmart dupport lines could even find the product to get me more info.   Love the use of aspartame, like they tried extra hard to come up with a bad product with all the wrong ingredients.  

Packaging:4
Oh My. Right on the front of the can, emblazoned for the world to see is the huge "I am a discount knockoff drink" badge advertising this as "American Fare". The cheap aluminum in the can does not do much adding to the overall concept - and it is clear from first sight that this layout clearly needs help. While not as bad as it could be, it could use alot of work. It lists the website - which the drink is not on, to the phone number, where people who never heard of the drink get confused when you ask about it. There is little nutritional information, and the caffeine content is non-existent. Their only consolation is Target stores did just as bad with their Archer Farms line of energy drinks.

 

Topics: The worst and the best , Energy Drinks