Including Someone with Alzheimer's in Thanksgiving Festivities

November 10, 4:28 PMSF Fiftysomething Lifestyle ExaminerAmy Wachspress

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Turkey
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November is both Alzheimer’s Awareness Month and the home of Thanksgiving, that bountiful family holiday. If someone you love has Alzheimer’s, and s/he will be with you at Thanksgiving, you can plan ahead and find ways to include him/her in the festivities in ways that will bring joy rather than confusion.

Think of activities that your Person With Alzheimer’s (PWAlz) can do with other family members and prepare in advance for those activities. Provide meaningful activities that match the skill level of the PWAlz and will allow opportunities for interaction with others. Any activities that you have done successfully with the PWAlz in the past may be repeated or adapted to work for you for Thanksgiving.

You know what the PWAlz’s interests were during the course of a lifetime, so match the planned activities to the interests. If Mom liked to cook, have her make cookies with the grandchildren, snap the green beans, clean cranberries, or do more complicated tasks if s/he has the capacity (e.g., make biscuits). Any simple repetitive tasks necessary for the preparation of the meal will do the trick. If Dad liked word games and has the ability to play Scrabble, then plan for some of the family to play a game with him. If Mom liked to garden, buy unarranged flowers and ask her to make them into a bouquet for the table. If the PWAlz enjoyed jigsaw puzzles, then set one up on a spare table and enlist some children and grandchildren to work on it together with him/her. If Dad liked gardening and you need the leaves raked, maybe he would feel useful and happy raking those leaves.

Include the PWAlz in family entertainment activities that work across generations and for people with many different abilities and interests, like reading aloud from a book (perhaps the PWAlz could do the reading), watching a movie you know is one of the PWAlz’s favorites, or doing a Thanksgiving-related art project. Perhaps the PWAlz can make table decorations, draw pictures to hang on the walls, or simply fool around with an art project with the children with crayons, paints, or collage (use magazine picture cut-outs). A classic favorite is looking at old photos. Prepare a photo album in advance that contains photos that you know are favorites and evoke happy memories. Have someone sit with the PWAlz and look through the album.

Play background music that you know the PWAlz likes while preparing or eating dinner. If the relationship is conducive to it, have a teenager give the PWAlz a manicure or a shoulder massage. An excellent inclusive family activity is viewing old “home movies.” Those videotapes of family members now grown up when they were children are always good for a laugh. If there is a family pet, the PWAlz may be content to sit with the pet in his/her lap. Or have the PWAlz go with someone to take the dog for a walk. Even if there is no dog, taking a walk is a terrific activity.

Keep activities simple. You want to find activities that don’t require the PWAlz to make decisions that may be confusing or frightening. Don’t criticize. If the flower arrangement activity didn’t produce the perfect bouquet, you can always rearrange the flowers later.

Even if the PWAlz does not remember doing these activities, s/he will get joy out of being included and feeling connected with the family and other people. Participating in a project with others will make him/her feel useful. S/he may forget why s/he is happy, but s/he will feel happy all the same.

Resources:
Find a quick guide to getting through Thanksgiving with someone who has Alzheimer’s here.
Check out B.J. FitzRay’s Alzheimer’s Activities book here.
Also helpful might be the Sunshine and Joy Alzheimer’s Activities Books.