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Ladies' guide to not leading him on
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Many women enjoy the attention from leading a man on.
It is a popular phenomenon that often leads women to feel giddy with power, but only leads to confusion and suffering for men: leading a guy to believe you are romantically interested in him, only to eventually dash his hopes. In today's popular culture this trend is portrayed nonchalantly and even justified by the idea that men are simply getting a taste of their own medicine when women use them in such a manner. The song "Oops!...I did it again" by Britney Spears exemplifies this issue perfectly in the following lyrics: "I think I did it again. I made you believe/ We're more than just friends...It might seem like a crush,/ But it doesn't mean/ That I'm serious..." However, this issue is a serious breach of dating conduct and can leave the rejected party feeling exploited.
While leading someone on with the intention of using them is a conscious decision, there are times when this situation can come about completely innocently. Just as no one wants to be used, it is helpful to be aware of how to avoid unknowingly taking advantage of someone. As always, it is paramount that both parties within a potentially romantic situation be absolutely honest about their intentions to avoid this scenario. There are some crucial signs to look for, though, that can indicate when one party in the relationship is having stronger loving feelings than the other. As an example, allow me to paint the following picture: a woman, having no romantic preconceptions, has recently begun a friendship with a man whom insists on showering her with gifts and picking up the tab whenever going out, but never attempts any physical contact. Now clearly the man in this example is exhibiting quintessential dating behavior; however, this may not be so clear at all to the woman in this situation. Often times under such circumstances the woman may be unaware of her "friend's" advances because they are not overt displays of affection. Additionally, she may have no qualms about having someone else pay for a dinner here and there or bringing her flowers on occasion. Admittedly, there are many variations of the preceding scenario, but for the sake of this article I have presented a fairly straightforward example of how one can easily be unaware of another's amorous intents. Being aware and realistic with yourself about any relationship that has even a modicum of romantic potential is the only way to avoid unknowingly using someone.
Many people can be blind to the fact that an individual whom they consider "just a friend" actually has strong romantic feelings for them, while the other may in turn may not realize the other parties' wishes for a strictly platonic friendship. If you unknowingly find that your friend considers you as a lover, simply clarify the parameters of your relationship. No individual should, however, consciously aim to lead another on in the hopes of using their romantic feelings for some sort of personal gain. The most important tenet of any relationship- romantic or platonic- is honesty, and deception will inevitably lead to heartbreak. Be honest, be considerate of one another, and above all do not be hesitant to clarify a potentially misleading situation.
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