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Boston Teen Issues Examiner

Tracking your teen: should parents use the latest technology to spy on their kids?

April 6, 11:02 AMBoston Teen Issues ExaminerJoyce Alla
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            A quick internet search reveals a plethora of opportunities for parents to “track” their teenagers. There’s the new “Speed Demon” device, developed by a 20-year-old Massachusetts resident, which delivers speeding alerts as well as curfew alarms to the driver and parents. And then you have security companies, like Brickhouse, who offer any product a detective dad or mole mom could desire, including cell phone spying gadgets that recover deleted text messages, software that reports online activity, hidden car cameras, lie detectors and drug testing kits. 
 
            The case for snooping: Some may argue that spying on your teens has become a necessity. The case would be made that the world has changed and it’s a much more dangerous place for our children. After all, 90,000 sex offenders were recently identified on Myspace, teen ‘sexting’ is all over the news, and3 out of every 10 first year drivers will be in a serious car accident. Some parents will feel the need to go to any lengths to protect their children.
 
The case for trust: However, other experts explain that trust is the key to responsibility, and that teenagers, through rules and consequences must learn to be trusted in order to separate from parents and grow into responsible adults. This school of thought views “snooping” as a violation of trust, which sets a bad example of the very trait parents are trying to engender.
 
The happy medium: The resolution to this “snooping” dilemma probably lies somewhere in the middle. The bottom line is that parents need to trust their kids, but kids also make mistakes. It’s our job to keep our children from ruining their lives (like Phillip, the young man who ‘sexted’ and is now a convicted felon.) Our first defense is a strong, open and trusting relationship with our kids. Yet, as parents, we need to be tuned in to our parental periscopes, and if we have suspicions or even a gut feel that something isn’t right, we have every right to look at our teen’s texts or social networking sites. If we believe our teen is driving recklessly, or using drugs, then it may be time to take action.
 
Personally, I do trust my kids, but I reserve the right to snoop. Hopefully, I will never feel the need to purchase any of the gadgetry available to spy on my kids. I doubt I’ll be planting a GPS in my daughter’s purse, or tracking my son’s text messages anytime soon. I do think, however, it’s worthwhile to have a conversation with my teenagers so they know this stuff is out there. Perhaps the threat of snooping can be one more reminder to help my kids make good decisions. For example, one mom I know keeps a drug testing kit on the shelf in her kitchen, just so her four teenagers know she could test them if she wanted to. So far, she hasn’t felt the need to use it.
 

What’s your take on tracking teens or snooping?

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