We’re all bozos on the bus,
So we might as well sit back
And enjoy the ride_
~Wavy Gravy
As a psychotherapist, I wear many hats; that of thinker, change agent, magician (if only….), loving detective, spiritual guru, compassionate witness, and more. I do everything we can to be consistent, kind and well put-together for my clients. This of course, is in their best interest; they need and deserve a sacred and safe container. We, essentially, are the constant object. We are also human, and prone to error. We need reminders that our human-ness is okay. I am offering some of my favorites.
Elizabeth Lesser, friend, co-founder of the Omega Institute and author of the book Broken Open, tells us, “I believe that we’re all bozos on the bus, contrary to the self-assured image we work so hard to present to each other on a daily basis. We are all half-baked experiments-------mistake prone beings, born without an instruction book into a complex world.” She explains;
Every single person on this bus called Earth hurts; it’s when we have shame about our feelings that hurt turns into suffering. In our shame, we feel outcast, as if there is another bus somewhere, rolling along on a smooth road. Its passengers are all thin, happy, healthy, well-dressed, and well-liked people who belong to harmonious families, hold jobs that don’t bore or aggravate them, and never do mean things, or goofy things like forget where they parked their car, lose their wallet or say something totally inappropriate. We long to be on that bus with the other normal people.
This is what I sometimes feel like in my darker moments as a psychotherapist; a bozo cleverly disguised under a clean blouse and loving demeanor, mustering up all my energy reserves to show up with grace and aplomb, hoping my clients didn’t see me running after the bus, or giving the finger to a loud Harley as I was crossing the street. As I navigate through the challenging landscapes of my career, I know that I must integrate these shadow parts. Even after 15 years of training, licensure in two states, and my role as core faculty at the Omega Institute, I still feel like a bozo on the bus; ill-prepared and highly exposed.
We are built to make mistakes
Coded for error
~Lewis Thomas
Tara Brach, author of Radical Acceptance, offers us relief from this imposter syndrome. She calls it the “trance of unworthiness”, and she invites us to recognize the beliefs and fears that sustain this trance as this can offer us the beginning of freedom. She nudges us with a gentle invitation to take our shadow to tea, to sit with our disowned parts with compassion and notice how they begin to lose their power over our lives. This exercise has been a gift to myself and my clients. No matter what your orientation, you can bring this into your work. As a body-oriented practitioner, I almost feel like I am cheating somehow, because the body never lies, and I can easily access my client’s authentic self. Here's to claiming your Inner Bozo, I am right now claiming mine.
I wish you safe and lovely travels.
~Rachel
Resources:
Broken Open – How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow – Elizabeth Lesser
Kitchen Table Wisdom – Rachel Naomi Remen
The Artist’s Way – Julia Cameron
The Little Book on the Human Shadow – Robert Bly
Radical Acceptance – Tara Brach
Practicing Peace in Times of War - Pema Chodron
Owning Your Own Shadow – Robert A. Johnson
When they revolutionize the Cocktail Parties
By Marilyn Sandberg
“Hello, what are you afraid of?”
“Death”
“Me too”
“When you hear a Mahler symphony?”
“No, when I wake up in the night.”
“Me too.”
“Nice meeting you.”
“Same here.”
BIO:
Internationally recognized and respected psychotherapist and movement teacher, Rachel Fleischmann, LCSW, helps people move out of their heads and into their bodies to heal. A body-oriented expressive arts therapist, she is a graduate of the Tamalpa Institute. Her Dance Your Bliss trainings have been featured in Women First magazine, The Professional Business Women of California 2006 Conference, the Women & Courage Conference for Omega Institute, UCSF Young Women’s Health Conference, and The Dance Therapy Conference. Rachel has led workshops at the Esalen Institute in California, Naropa University and in Costa Rica. She maintains a private practice in San Francisco. www.blisscounseling.com. (415) 820-3222
2120 Market Street Suite 107. SF CA 94114