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Surviving unemployment. (Part 3: Your emotional well-being)
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Lean on your circle of friends.
Parts 1 and 2 of this Surviving Unemployment series deal with your professional and financial well-being. Networking your butt off, acquiring new skills and organizing your finances are all things you should do during unemployment. But you won't do any of this if you can't break out of your depression or if you feel too overwhelmed and unmotivated to function. Being unemployed sucks! Looking for work in this job market especially is a task sent from hell. It's just not a fun situation for anyone to be in. But you can't improve your situation unless you put yourself together and do something. You have to take care of yourself emotionally to effectively combat unemployment. Here are some tips on how to maintain your sanity and secure your emotional health through these hard times.
MAINTAINING YOUR EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING
• Find strength in numbers.
Form a support group. Stay in regular contact with friends who are also jobless. Keep them posted on your progress and check-in on theirs. Send them job postings that fit their interests – they’ll do the same for you. Meet regularly with your unemployed friends to share tips and experiences. Learn what worked for them and what didn't. Plus, it just helps to be reminded that you're not alone in all this madness.
My good friend is also unemployed. She and I have weekly job-hunt coffee dates. Each Monday, we pick a new cafe to check out, meet there and work on our individual job searches for a few hours. I’m at my laptop working away and she’s at hers. At the end of every meeting, we each make a list of tasks to do in that week – call my old boss for contacts, reach out to that volunteer organization, apply to x amount of jobs, e-mail thank you notes to so and so, etc. We hold each other accountable for getting those items done by the next meeting. These coffee shop meetings motivate us to wake up early, get out of the house and start a productive week. And we have a cool time exploring new coffee shops (with free wifi) around the city.
• Create a regular routine for yourself.
After losing your job, it can be an overwhelming and depressing reality to wake up on a Monday morning with nowhere to go, no agenda to pursue and no idea how to spend all this unexpected free time. Build a new routine for yourself to stay organized, motivated and productive.
Approach your job hunt like it's a new job, and set a schedule for it. Maybe, focus on the job search weekdays from 10a.m. to 5p.m., leaving your evenings and weekends for fun. Or, make Mondays through Wednesdays job hunt days, volunteer on Thursdays and enjoy three-days weekends. Whatever the schedule, designate a time for work and a time for play for a healthy balance. A structured routine will help minimize your stress and increase your productivity.
Also, set a small goal to pursue each week. And work on your job search at bookstores, coffee shops and libraries on a regular basis - not just at home. Who knows what conversations and opportunities you might run into by getting out and being amongst people.
• Stay physically active and enjoy a pleasant hobby.
Incorporate some physical activity into your weekly routine. Start jogging or take a dance class. Join a recreational group, like a bike club or basketball team. The job hunt is emotionally draining. Staying active will keep your endorphins flowing and energy up.
Explore new talents and pursue old passions. Do something you didn't have time to do before. Learn to play an instrument or revisit your artistry. Engage regularly in an activity that calms you and takes your mind off of your job situation, even if just for a few hours a week.
I learned how to swim this summer at 27 years old. Now I'm in the pool twice a week. I love swimming. It relaxes me, and that's exactly what I need right now.
• Give yourself a break from time to time.
Step away from the job search every now and then and treat yourself to something fun. Make sure you keep your sanity by doing entertaining things. When the search gets you down, do something that you frequently daydreamed about doing back when you were miserably working that 9 to 5. Go to a matinee or drive to the beach on a Wednesday afternoon. Enjoy your Monday by sleeping in, having brunch and treating yourself to an inexpensive massage. Travel for a couple of weeks. Cheer yourself up by doing things that make your employed friends envy your free time.
• Romance your troubles away.
Lose your worries by slipping into the arms of your significant other or temporary love interest. Kiss the stress away, melt off the tension and take out your aggression through intimacy. Hearing someone tell you how beautiful and hot you are, that they enjoy your company and the endless things they feel for you will restore your confidence. A little romance can help you regain a sense of self and put some pep back in your step!
• There's no place like home. Go there.
When unemployment seems to have drained the life and motivation out of you, take a trip back home. Visit family and friends - the people that love you. Re-energize yourself with their positive energy and unwavering support. Let them take care of you for a weekend, tell you how proud they are of you, remind you of your talent. Let them annoy you back to being productive - maybe just the thought of not finding a job and moving back home with your crazy family will get you back on your game. Or, maybe you'll realize that moving home is exactly what you need right now. Either way, take a break and go home. Time with your family will put things back in perspective for you. That bad interview or rejection letter wont mean much when you're spending time with the people that really matter.
• Take care of yourself.
Don't be so hard on yourself through this process. Millions of people are in your shoes. Some even have it worse. Talk to a therapist, family member or friend. Accept your feelings as they come. If you're angry, be angry. If you're sad, cry... all day if you need to. If you're burnt out and exhausted, chill. Stop the search and relax until you're ready to get back at it. Understand that your feelings and motivation will fluctuate day to day, week to week. Some days you'll feel defeated. Other days you'll be a total rock star and go-getter and you'll handle business. Take this one day at a time.
Remember that your unemployment does not negate your ability or potential. This job status does not define who you are or what you will achieve. Things will turn around, and when they do you’ll be ready and prepared to make major moves. So stay positive, productive and hopeful in the interim.
Sincerely, best of luck to you in your pursuits. Contribute your own helpful tips by leaving a comment or sending me an e-mail.
For more info: Read Surviving unemployment (Plan 1) and Surviving unemployment (Plan 2).
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