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Jacksonville’s sun shines brighter than most Idol hopefuls
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George Ramirez's beard is his most impressive feature
The audition stage of American Idol is already getting old, and I don’t think I’m the only one who believes this to be true. Randy, Simon, Paula, and Kara already seem to be bored, and who can blame them? They have to sit in a room listening to people who can’t sing screech at the top of their lungs and mouth off to them once told what their voices actually sound like. And three of them have been doing this for eights years already! There’s only so much a person can take.
At this point, I’m ready for the competition to start, too. Idol has yet to feature any contestant that have true winning potential. I’m ready to see what the top 36 have to offer, to see who they’ll even be! Many times, Idol doesn’t highlight the stories of the contestants who make the judges’ cuts, and it’s a complete surprise when we’re finally introduced to them (eg: Bo Bice, Jason Castro). Why are they hiding these talented few from us and subjecting us to the mediocre masses? Bring on our future Idols!
Instead of greatness, last night the Idol audience was subject to Dana Moreno (who sang a screechy Chaka Kahn), Kaneswa Finnie (whose confidence and beautiful smile couldn’t make up for her horrendous voice), Darin Darnell (who acted like a proud politician before he saw the judges and proceeded to break down in tears in front of them), Naomi Sykes (who spoke through Minnie Ripperton’s “Loving You” jokingly and cried with shock when she was rejected – really, Naomi?), and George Ramirez (who had a Paul Bunyon vibe, loved physics, and lacked any enthusiasm for singing, which he did dreadfully). All were terrible, and all were directed out of the audition room sans Golden Ticket. No one argued, no one made too much of a fool of themselves, and no one was even remotely entertaining.
Nor were any of these auditions unpredictable. Was it just me, or were you kind of praying that George Ramirez would shock everyone and have a great instrument? After the clip of him speaking of his great love of physics (which apparently his love of music surpassed), I was hoping he would shock us all a la Clay Aiken and have a stunning, perfect voice. No such luck.
This element of surprise is what initially drew me to Clay from the very first time that I heard him. I had only just started watching the show, and I still got a kick out of the bad auditions. When the cameras focused on Clay, I was ready for the worst of the worst. He was a complete dork, with his spiky red hair, ears that stuck out to Minnesota, striped shirt that hung off of his skinny body, and glasses that sat unevenly on his face. I braced myself to laugh my face off, and then Clay opened his mouth. What poured out, of course, was beyond amazing, and I knew from that moment that he was going to win. (And even though he didn’t, let’s be honest, he sort of did.)
Now, in Idol’s eighth season, it’s getting harder to find this mix of someone who doesn’t look like a star but who so clearly is once s/he opens their mouth.
In fact, none of the contestants who have made it through so far this season seem to be able to deliver any kind of vocal power. Sharon Wilbur, who seemed more proud of her Shih Tzu puppy than of her singing, delivered a weak performance of Karen Carpenter’s “Superstar,” leaving Kara to compare her to Britney Spears. Not to knock Britney’s star quality, but she isn’t exactly known for her powerhouse vocals. I doubt Sharon will be able to belt out any songs, therefore rendering her unimpressive later in the game.
Jasmine Murray doesn’t seem like she’ll be long for the competition, either. Though she was adorable and, therefore, highly commercial, her voice was nasal and she was unable to use her breath properly. (This was apparent in the fact that she was often left with lots of air to breathe out at the end of a phrase. Improper use of air will render it difficult for Jasmine to hold notes on pitch or with much volume.) Of course, if she makes it past Hollywood, she stands a good chance at hanging on in the competition for longer than she should. The audience often appreciates someone cute over someone who can actually sing (Antonella Barba, Carmen Rasmusen, Kristy Lee Cook).
Among the contestants who actually had potential last night was Joshua Ulloa. This twenty two year old Florida native delivered a wacky, over the top performance of Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On.” Though he overdid his audition with varied bits of attempted beat boxing and spastic movements, it was apparent that some degree of talent was present in his voice. I look forward to seeing what can be brought forth when he strips himself of his attention grabbing act and does nothing more than sing.
Julissa Veloz also showed potential. Though she was annoyingly cheerful, laughed like a hyena (Simon even mentioned how much her laugh bothered him), and shoved the fact that she is a beauty queen in everyone’s face, her deep, throaty version of Whitney’s “I Have Nothing” may have been one of the best the show has ever seen (which is saying quite a lot considering how many times that song has been sung on this show).
Finally, there was T.K. Hash, rejected by the judges in a previous season. He sang “Imagine” in a flowing voice with a slightly deeper tone than most, setting him slightly apart from other singers. What could the judges have been thinking when they passed him by last year?
Perhaps by the time they saw him, the judges were driven so crazy by the lack of available talent that they hadn’t been able to fairly evaluate him. Can we blame them, when they’re faced with such deluded hopefuls? Let’s all think positive thoughts for tonight, and perhaps Salt Lake City will provide us with some future Idol champions.
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