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Emeril Lagasse to cook for Obama
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Emeril Lagase has recommended that, in regards to health care reform, for the Obamas to "kick it up a notch!" (Credit: AP/Haraz N. Ghanbari)
Local chef Emeril Lagasse will compete against a slew of other chefs in a speical episode of "Iron Chef" in which they will cook for president Barack Obama. Mrs. Obama is expected to greet them, as everyone knows part of Obama's reformist platform is to send women back to the kitchen where they belong.
They are welcome to use anything found in the White House garden to prepare their meals. A leaked memo from Obama has encouraged them to "totally focus on scooping up some of that Purple Haze I've been growing". When reached for comment, a staff member refused to comment, and only stared out into space while mumbling something about "freaking out".
The other chefs competing on the show are Mario Batali and Bobby Ray. They don't have cool catchphrases, so no one really cares about them. After gathering their ingredients, the chefs will move back to the network's kitchen in New York to prepare their meals. Celebirty judges who will decide the winner are cook Nigella Lawson, Olympic athlete Natalie Coughlin, and actress Jane Seymour. Since Jane Seymour is a Hollywood actress, she is expected to immeditaley vomit the food afterwards. Her inclusion in this contest as an eating expert has been called into question on account of this.
"This is just yet another example of liberal bias in the cooking industry," professional d-bag pundit and political commentator Glenn Beck claimed. "Everyone knows they're going to go with some hippie vegan stuff. Why didn't George Bush ever get a special episode of Iron Chef devoted to him? Because they're a bunch of pinko commies, that's why."
I, for one, totally hope that intense Asian guy who hosts will moderate the debates for the next presidential election. In fact, why don't we just cut out all the talking points and just have the candidates cook us up meals to be judged by big-name panels? It'd certainly make more sense than how we run things now.
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