Learning experiences

November 10, 9:27 PMOrlando Sex and Relationships ExaminerLindsay Hitchcock

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We all fall, but we have to get up again.

From: www.flickr.com

When I was a lot younger, the early stages of a relationship were easy. A guy and I met, we hit it off, went on a few dates, and bam! He was my boyfriend. There wasn’t much of a chase phase, there wasn’t time spent wondering if he would call, it was just simple and fun dating. Then we would be together a little longer, things would get a little harder, and we would either work through the tough stuff or get out.

 Things are different now. We as young women don’t have it as easy as we might have used to. Whether it’s the options, the competition, our choosiness, their choosiness, everyone unwilling to settle, or our cautious minds about coupling up, relationships are not as simple as they used to be, or should be. What used to be unproblematic and effortless is now uneasy and mind-boggling. Men and women are watching their every move when it comes to relationships. We feel as if we are being watched constantly, and one small mistake in our behavior and we’re in trouble.

 With each failed relationship we do learn something though. There’s usually never someone that we meet and get absolutely nothing from. When we’re younger, we do stupid stuff, say stupid stuff, and look back and reflect on all our stupidity. I remember running into an ex of mine at a bar less than a week of us splitting, and let me tell you, it was one ugly breakup. Instead of leaving, ignoring him, or spilling my drink all over him, I walked over and hugged him and asked how he was doing. Hugged him! Could I have been more of an idiot? I look back at that particular experience and I am embarrassed, but it is just one tiny example of something I learned from, and trust me, I will not be making the same mistake twice.

 All of this learning from our faults has made most of us put up a shield when it comes to relationships. We have to be careful with each new one. We could break a heart, or have our own shattered. It’s a scary dating world out there. It makes us think, how many of these can one person survive? Still, we venture, we put ourselves out there, and most of us never completely give up on relationships. We learn from them, we reflect on them, and we hope we learn from our mistakes until the day that we finally get it right.