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Internet dating: Once again, do not grade on a curve.
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I recently came victim to and joined the cult of internet dating.
I don't know what's more interesting - the messages or the profiles.
Don't get me wrong, this isn't a bitter post saying "internet dating is sooo lame and every guy is a douche," I have actually made some really good friends through it, and realized I'm not even using it to look for a boyfriend because I'm content whether I have one or not.
That being said, I've learned that it is absolutely integral to have an original, catchy profile. Once I created mine (which I must admit is the greatest profile on all of the interwebs) I did a little research and looked at other women's profiles who were in the same age bracket as me.
After about 15 minutes of scoping out the competition, I realized my head was going to implode if I read "I love to laugh and have fun" or "I don't do drama, so if you love the drama then please stay off my page" one more time.
Really, ladies? After reading some of your profiles, it's hard to even call you ladies. Girls is better fit. I understand that I'm in my early 20's and was looking at profiles of girls in the same age range, but when you're 23 and you list "pink" and "texting" under your interests, how is a guy supposed to take you seriously as someone who "doesn't do drama" or is "a grown and sophisticated woman" as many of you made sure to emphasize? I wouldn't.
And boys. Boys, boys, boys... this is internet dating, not a "who can come up with the most chach'ed-out shirtless bathroom mirror photo" contest. Really, it's not. And we know you're not all illiterate, so can you please write something in your profile other than "I work a lot and go out with my friends sometimes, I don't feel like writing much here so if you want to get to know me just send me a message."
No. WRITE SOMETHING. Give us something to ask you about in your messages.
That brings me to my next point.
Messaging someone on an internet dating site.
After being on these sites for awhile, I find it very easy to tell the guys who actually message me AFTER they've read my profile, and the guys who see a decent picture of a girl within their acceptable age range and send a message saying "hi how are you do you want to talk and get to know each other," or better yet, a copy and pasted gem like this:
Subject: No Lameosity ! !
Hi>>> just check out my profile and see wassup about me , never been married by choice, no kids, have a nice house & shop- all paid for, have a awsome garden, have many muscle cars, collect mustangs, drag racer & team owner, build race cars & restomods, have a shop cat named snoopy, can cook, work my ass off, anything else and you,re geting a phone number to talk about it! now about you? Its not braggin if you can back it up rite ? My profile says hang out & that meens freinds first!
With the exception of several grammar flaws, too much information in an introductory message, and obviously no attempt at reading my profile, he sounds like he could be a decent person. Pretty cocky, but decent. Still, not what I'm into.
Three days later, I received the exact. same. message.
A week later, I received the exact. same. message.
This is when I called him out and told him he is spamming people by sending the same message to every girl between 18 and 45 and that he should at least read our profiles before messaging us, find out if we are what he's looking for (even though we're girls so I'm sure we're all what he's looking for), and send a message based on some of our common interests or something he liked about our profile. Originality never killed anyone.
Maybe I should just be a dating website troll that anonymously reads messages and gives people grades on whether or not their messages are worthy. Actually, I like that idea. eHarmony, are you hiring?
Anyway, this was his response:
You need to sign up 4 dead beat dateing ,Its where all the guys have to b completely disfuntional & worthless to get on! Now you can see just what you will end up with from the start! this saves time! The girls pay of course, the guys r broke! No job OK , no licence OK , kids in unknown places OK , warrants OK no car OK, x-s wanting support OK! see what I meen ?? this is a hit & the site 4 you!
Everyone see what I "meen?" Don't make a fool out of yourself. We learned the first steps of internet dating in grade school. Reading and writing. You don't even need the 'rithmetic.
What are your internet dating pet peeves?
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