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The sumptuous art of making out
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Which term conjures up images of your youth: Necking or making out?
Neither expression is used much any more except by us Boomers. Can you remember your first GOOD kisser? Chances are, most of us can remember the mediocre ones. But getting the kinds of kisses (on a regular basis) like those in Basic Instinct or all those Doris Day/Rock Hudson/James Garner films that caused Doris to bend her leg ever-so slightly at the knee while violins strained in the background would seem too good to be true for many of us..
American University’s Jessica Bacharach, in her article, Caught with your pants down: The lost art of making out, recalls, “He was funny and charming and real, and he bore a slight resemblance to Matt Damon. He was so nice I couldn't wait to make-out with him. No, not sleep with him, not ride him until the sun came up, I just wanted to make out with him; do the kissing, groping eighth grade action that I had spent my adolescence embracing on my old boyfriend's couch.”
I can relate. My first husband began to abandon kissing early on, after bringing me onboard for what was supposed to be a lifetime. After nearly twenty years of marriage, however, I dreamed about getting an occasional cherishing gesture, like a stroke on my cheek, the nibbling of my ear or a casual arm encircling my waist from behind – all those things that are slow and delicious and full of pent-up meanings. Somewhere around the end of my marriage I saw the movie, Bridges of Madison County --not exactly a critic’s delight. But when Clint began nibbling Meryl’s neck while she was on the phone with her out-of-town husband, I was riveted.
So I ask you -- do men who savor the art of making out even exist outside the big screen? . You betcha! My second hubbie is a 180 degree turnaround compared to my first in that department. There is, therefore, a God.
In her article, Bacharach describes the rules of making out to near perfection:
“The bases are a classic make-out gauge. Let's review in case anyone forgot or has amnesia: First base: kissing, necking and anything involving tongue above the shoulders. Second base: shirts off, hands or mouth on. When performed properly it can be hot, when performed poorly it feels like a mammogram. Third base: Everything's a lollipop. And the home-run is sex, sex and more sex. But you never saw Babe Ruth bypass the bases and go straight to home plate. Even if he wasn't going to hang out there, he at least grazed each base.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
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