Lady Boomers let their fingers do the walking to find love

February 10, 4:13 AMLady Boomer ExaminerDena Kouremetis

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One of my favorite scenes from the HBO series Sex and the City was when Candice Bergen’s character was dominating Carrie’s much-older boyfriend ( played by Mikail Baryshnikov) at a party.  

Carrie asks the older Bergen what’s up. “The pool of available men at my age is very shallow,” Bergen replies dryly, “and you, my dear, are wading in my pool.”

So when was the last time you heard a women remark that all the men over the age of 40 are only looking for women half their age?  If you’re a  LadyBoomer and that’s your excuse for not hooking up,  it’s time to take another look at online dating. Not only are there Boomer men looking for kindred spirits, but they’re also looking for a woman who understands the same type of experiences.  The silver lining in today’s dating scene, however is that there are also younger men looking to for love with older gals.  Believe it or not,  we LadyBoomers are in demand.

Online dating sites are no longer just for the 20-somethings among us. Sites offering match-ups are more established, more secure and are reaching out to boomers as never before, encouraging us to take the plunge and find that special someone.

Although online dating should be approached with common sense and caution, it has come a long way in recent years, and most of us just might know of someone in our lives, either male or female, who has found a partner or at least a few friends this way after getting comfortable dating online.

Find a reputable online dating service by Googling  "online dating.” After combing through what you find there and settling on a few that look high quality, Google “review online dating sites” and see what others may say about their experiences at the ones you might have selected.

Then follow three or four online dating sites for a few weeks to study the level of activity. A word to the wise is --  don't waste your time if you see little to no activity.

Write a truthful profile and choose a flattering (up-to-date) but realistic photo of yourself. Get ideas by looking at other women’s bios and photos and select a few you’d like to use as good examples. Imitation is, after all the sincerest form of flattery.  Don’t get too long-winded when describing yourself.  You’ll want to leave something to talk about when you get in touch with some interesting match.

To determine  those who have potential and those who fit into your “loser” category, you’ll need to try to uncover your candidates agendas somehow by asking lots of questions.  You may find out more than you want to know, but that’s fine – he is doing you a favor by showing his colors early on.

A good question to ask?  "What do you think are the biggest mistakes most people make when dating online?"  His answer just might tell you a lot about him.  Asking him what he thinks about online dating will be not only revealing, but a great  ice-breaker as well.

It doesn’t hurt to ask Mr. Potential about his past relationships and how they turned out.  Where he lays blame will give you insight into her personality, his ego and his sense of fair play. It’s best if he admits it was a two-way street and that neither he nor his ex was 100% to blame for a break-up, but the way he characterizes it will tell you a lot about him.

The more questions you ask up front, the more rapport you will have built when meeting this intriguing man for the first time, so don't be shy.

The process of online dating may take time, money, and patience, but to rush it would be unwise.  And a rule of thumb -- don’t be to too hard on yourself.  Few online daters find a soul mate without doing some serious shopping around.

To minimize risk, make sure you meet in a public place the first few times and ALWAYS tell a friend where you’ll be, whom you’ll be meeting and how he described himself (and any other information that’s okay to share about him).  You’ll no doubt know before long if (1) this is a guy you can't stand being around (2) he’s someone you’d like to know better, or (3) he’ s just not into you.

Isn't that last one a move title?