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Boomers boldly crash the singles' scene
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It' never too late . . .
“Looking for that special someone with whom I can share Beatles trivia, sappy old movies, wine-tasting adventures and great make-out sessions.”
We are Boomers; hear us roar. We now figure prominently within the millions of dating profile pages of with our personal descriptions.
Nearly one third of Boomers are now single, according to AARP. This translates into roughly 77 million single Boomers, 70 percent of whom date regularly, according to the organization that keeps such stats. It’s no wonder that the Baby Boomer demographic is one of the fastest-growing segments using online introductions to assist their foray into the dating world.
"A massive, massive category is emerging," says LavalifePrime.com’s Lori Miller. According to Miller, however Boomers are not always interested in settling down.
She cites an AARP survey that reports only 14 percent of Boomer women and 21 percent of Boomer men say they want to get married or live with someone. That is in contrast to 60 percent of those aged 30 to 39 who say they want to get married.
Reasons for this range from Boomers claiming that another marriage certificate is no longer on their ‘bucket list’ to those who simply feel eminently comfortable with their status. Some are happy spending time with grandchildren; others love the freedom from ‘relationship responsibility’ being single offers them -- especially women, who no longer care to build their lives around men.
Although many of these empowered and independent women happily fill their time with family, social activities, traveling, or sports, they now seek companionship and friendship instead of a walk down the proverbial aisle, according to Miller.
As they apply to the first ‘sexually liberated’ generation, surveys reveal a full 45 percent of Boomer single men and 48 percent of women are having sex more than once a week, according to the AARP.
So is playing the dating game as easy as it once was? Not by any stretch. It’s still a predominantly married world and hang-ups abound among Boomers, sometimes keeping them from enjoying single midlife in all its fullness. Though they seem to be more vigilant about health and fitness than those who came before them, Boomer women (and some men) are often afraid their bodies are less than desirable, unfairly contrasting them with how they appeared the last time they jumped into the dating fray, perhaps as far back as their 20s.
Pile on top of that the opinions of their grown offspring and the sometimes overwhelming left-over trauma from previous relationships, and the prospect of dating for the purpose of meeting a potential marriage partner can be a slippery slope to many who to dare to venture there. Economics can be complex, with Boomers walking that fine line between personal fulfillment and ensuring that their grown children are protected from their parents’ life-altering missteps.
The good news? Sometimes older does mean wiser.
Those of us who now look back on a huge chunk of our lives can agree that we simply don’t have much time to waste on nonsense anymore. When we were younger, we might not have minded watching a few years go by while our bodies were young and our skin was taut. Committing to a relationship now means no more games, no ‘settling’ and no second-rate choices. If a relationship means drama and complexity rather than better times, it's not worth it and we can simply pass on it rather than wonder if we just let go of the future father of our children.
If it’s good, however, it can be REALLY good. Finding a great partner in midlife can be akin to being reborn for many Boomers. With maturity and the gift of life experience, a good relationship can be even more exciting and passionate, surpassing former relationship expectations in a surprising number of ways. And there is no shortage of Boomers ready, willing and able to become candidates if they really want to work at finding someone.
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