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Tell me your fantasy...
Just as men fantasize about football and women in skimpy outfits, women spend their time dreaming about their perfect partner and how lovely their monogrammed towels will look with the last name they hope to acquire. Call us crazy, but women are simply in love with the idea of being in love. Now before some of you break out in choruses of “I’m Every Woman,” hear me out. It is my belief that women, due to very little fault of their own, have it in their nature to fall in love far too quickly. Although many men will claim that this is a sign of insanity and likely a turnoff, what makes it any different than a man’s unwillingness to commit? Both are flaws, and both are far too common.
As is the case in most topics I address, we cannot say that this is the truth for all men or all women. However, one must admit that it seems that there are far too many individuals of both genders that fall into these categories. Is this simply coincidence or is it possible that our biological makeup is set up in such a way that determines how we interact with those of the opposite sex? When considering this possibility, the scenario does seem plausible. Without getting too technical, does it not seem odd that individuals, who have never met and have matured in a vast variety of environments, can share traits based on their gender alone?
Let’s take a moment to examine another option. Perhaps men and women simply feed off of one another and thus, act accordingly. For example, consider a man who feels he is being upfront about his desire to remain unattached. However, he asks you to dinner time and time again and is affectionate throughout. Is he only being charming in the hopes of fulfilling his other desires afterwards? Ahem, dessert if you will? On the other hand, maybe it is the vibes a woman gives off during a date. In an attempt to remain poised, why do we melt at the sight of a young couple with an adorable newborn? Even more, why do we insist on discussing it with the guy we’ve known for a mere minute? On the bright side, if that doesn’t kill the mood later, he may just be a keeper.
Whatever the case may be, it appears that just as men and women determine the success of a relationship, their actions may also be the cause of its demise. While that may seem like an obvious statement, why is it so often overlooked? Why do we blame the other person or specifically, their personality for a failed relationship? Isn’t their personality what we fell in love with in the first place?
In relationships, and more importantly in all facets of life, success is an outcome that is typically in our own hands. We are the sole facilitators of our unhealthy relationships and we will likely find that long after the “problematic partner” is out of our lives; our attitude will only continue to prohibit us from experiencing true love. Thus, it is up to us to decide whether or not we will face our own demons. However, consider some food for thought. Is being right or resisting compromise worth ending up alone?
Don’t feel as though you need to let go of your fantasies, however extravagant they may be, because they are a facet of you. However, make sure they don’t prohibit you from experiencing a potential reality, and a wonderful one at that.
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