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Don't turn your dating profile into a fictional tale
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Don't be a cautionary tale for online dating gone wrong!
Meeting new people can be a daunting and somewhat challenging task for some. Whereas many of us are extroverts, loving any and every chance to connect with others, some people are more introverted, or shy, and have a hard time making that connection or even getting past the basic step of saying hello. For these people, sometimes interacting with others online first can make that initial icebreaker session easier. Rather than feeling pressured to be funny on the fly or to throw out the most interesting thing about them instantly, they can let their profile do the talking for them.
But as great as this is, there's also the need for a heavy dose of reality when it comes to creating the online version of yourself for others to see. Of course you should put your best foot forward and highlight all of your positives. But don't get carried away and create an unrealistic alterego. You'll only be hurting yourself in the end. So, if you ever had to wonder when it was okay to stretch the truth a bit and when it was best to K.I.S.S. (keep it simple stupid!), here you go.
Profile Pictures: These should always be current. It's not fair to post a picture of yourself from five years ago when you were younger and felt you looked your best unless you still look like that - or better. In a perfect world no one would care what you looked like and we would be using a different factor to determine attractiveness. But we don't live in a perfect world so pulling a bait and switch isn't going to win you any favors.
Location: This is one of those things where you probably won't get a negative reaction for saying you live in Manhattan on your profile but then you actually live in Queens. Did you just lie? Yes, but in truth, if you're a cool person and someone takes an interest in you, the extra train ride to your house isn't going to keep you single for long. Just don't go too far on the location fib. Don't say you live in New York when you live in Cali, clearly this will backfire.
Relationship Status: This is a no brainer - you should always be honest here. Nothing is more unforgivable and disrespectful than to lie about your status. If you're in a relationship and are actively looking for other people, you need to do full disclosure. It's unfair to the person you're trying to find to make them think that you're single when you're not. Even if you're in one of those, "we're dating but we're not exclusive" or "open relationships", be courteous and tell people your situation. Incidentally, this can be one of those things that you may not post on your profile page, but when someone contacts you regarding dating, you need to fess up.
Occupation: Feel free to be vague in your profile. We say this only because your profile doesn't have to be a total open book for the world to see. You may not want everyone to know what you do for a living and that's your right. However, do be comfortable with sharing this interesting tidbit of knowledge once you finally find someone of interest. Again, you don't have to get into gritty details from the jump, but it's odd to find someone who's close lipped about what they do for a living.
Family: And by family we mean kids, ex wives, baby's mama's…etc. You may not want to put on your profile that you were married, but it's absolutely something that you need to mention once you find someone of interest. Someone who's been married before is coming to the table with a whole different set of experiences and knowledge that an unmarried person just can't possible provide. The same goes for people with baby's mama/daddy issues. Not everyone wants to walk into the bombshell that is your family dynamic. Children however, should be noted on your profile. Not everyone likes children or even wants to be actively involved in the lives of someone else's children. It sounds harsh, but why would you want to waste your time meeting someone who's really cool only to find out three dates later that they hate children and will avoid yours when you have them around?
Education, Personality & Character: So you don't always need to go into detail about your education, but do be truthful when the time comes to swap stories. Likewise when it comes to telling tales about yourself, don't get carried away. You want to make yourself look good, but if you paint yourself out to be a superhero, you're only setting yourself up to fail. You can't be perfect all the time and eventually you're going to do or say something that won't please your date. So, keep a realistic tone to your profile description, and make sure that it really matches your personality.
Internet dating can definitely even the playing field between social butterflies and wallflowers when done correctly. Just make sure that you keep your profile as truthful as possible and don't get carried away in the creative spirit. Now that you've made your profile make sure you're a tech savvy dater too.
Questions, comments, suggestions? Drop Dorian a line!
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