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More fun on Rhode Island roadways
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More fun on RI roadways
Just when I thought I’d adequately covered the subject of Idiocy on RI roadways, I decided to drive home from work yesterday. You can’t make this stuff up! The first thing that presented itself was at the entrance to the Exxon-Mobil refinery on the Wampanoag Trail (route 114 S). A Jeep was exiting and pulled right in front of a car entering the highway via the on-ramp. He realized he was about o die and drove off the road onto a bit of a dirt “berm.” In retrospect the dirt may be the safest place to drive on some of our highways.
Slightly past the Gate of Heaven Cemetery, there is an exit to go to Seekonk, MA. Now RI has a peculiar habit of designing highways with left handed, high-speed lane exits and this is one. This intrepid, safety-conscious writer was in the high speed lane traveling about 55 (SHHHH – the speed limit is 45 there). To my left was a line of stopped cars, in the exit lane, waiting for the green light to cross the highway and escape into Massachusetts. Then, what to my wondrous eyes should appear but a Cadillac, in the high-speed lane, DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF ME, STOPPED DEAD!
No, he wasn’t stalled. He was performing a unique Rhode Island driving maneuver, I like to call the “Sleaze and Squeeze.” This is when people see the road ahead is jammed with traffic, so they change lanes and sleaze by everyone patiently waiting, in the lane, and then at last minute, they attempt to squeeze into the correct, traffic jammed lane, thus avoiding all of us other drivers. This is the same as when you are in line to buy movie tickets and someone cuts in front of you and 75 other people. Not nice. This, to me, at least, is ample justification for equipping all cars with a front end laser beam to just automatically vaporize idiots like this, along with the cars they drive.
Thankfully I was able to change lanes in a hurry and avoid “T-boning” this moron, as his car was actually sideways in the lane in front of me. I performed the mandatory laying on the horn to “educate” him as to his unacceptable driving behavior. As an added bonus, I did this again, as I sped past him. I did not however, make any finger gestures to him. A few years ago, a young 20-something man did that to an older guy, after a similar traffic educational session. The problem was – the man just happened to be a reputed Mob enforcer, or hit man. He chased this kid through Providence, and after cornering him in a dead-end alley, beat him to death with a baseball bat. Since that episode, I won’t even wave at another driver. God-forbid they mistake my wave for something else.
