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How to stay friends with your ex
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Dear Jennifer,
I'm planning on breaking up with my boyfriend. I feel like we're traveling in different directions and just aren't meant to be together as a couple. I think he's a great guy and I really want us to be friends. How do I make sure he doesn't hate me and wants to be my friend after the break up?
Please help,
Sarah M.
Dear Sarah,
There are no sure fire ways to make sure your ex boyfriend wants to be your friend after you've trampled all over his heart but you can try your hardest to make it easy for him. Be as gentle as possible in the break up. Don't get into yelling matches or say anything bad about him to his face or behind his back. Handle it maturely and tell him the truth. You feel like you're traveling in different directions and just aren't meant to be together as a couple. Make sure you let him know that you truly want to be his friend. Don't just assume he knows you want to maintain a friendship. There's no need to dredge up old arguments or point out his shortcomings as a man. Stick to your decision and don't do the break up make up game. He will most likely hate you for a while but if you are patient he will probably come around given a little time. You'll probably have to extend the hand of friendship first. Be prepared for rejection because he may not be ready to be your friend. Remember that it is always a gut reaction to try to hurt someone who hurt you. Don't push the friendship. Give him time to process the break up without being rushed. You may never get to the point where you guys are sharing laughs over lunch and you'll have to make peace with that fact. It sounds like your intentions are true and I'm sure your ex will grow to see that in time.
Yours truly,
Jennifer
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