3 tips to get the most out of couples counseling

September 8, 3:51 PMSF Marriage and Relationships ExaminerLisa Brookes Kift

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There's no doubt that couples counseling can help marriages and relationships improve in numerous ways; from better communication, decreased resentment, working through infidelity...and so on.  But I'd like to share a couple of tips about how to make the most of your valuable time - and hard earned money.

Here are 3 tips to make couples counseling work for you and your partner:

1. Spend time researching therapists.  Get a feel for what they're about via their websites.  Call for a free phone consultation which most offer.
2. Each of you consider what the issues are for you and what changes you are hoping to make.  Often times the problems aren't the same for both parties.  You will likely be asked this question early in the first session. 
3. Be open and willing to change.  You and your partner are considered a "system" which means there are likely negative cycles occurring between you - that you BOTH contribute to.  

I find the couples who get off and running the most quickly are the ones who have done their homework and have thought about what they're trying to accomplish - as opposed to just airing their grievances.  The following are related articles possibly of interest:

• Does Couples Counseling Work?
• When Depression or Anxiety Enters into Couples Counseling
• How to Refresh Your Marriage and Reconnect with your Spouse

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Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT, has a private practice in San Rafael doing individual therapy and couples counseling.  Learn more at www.marintherapyandcounseling.com.