Resentment in relationships

March 22, 2:06 PMSF Marriage and Relationships ExaminerLisa Brookes Kift

Previous Next

Comment Print Email RSS Subscribe

Subscribe

Get alerts when there is a new article from the SF Marriage and Relationships Examiner. Read Examiner.com's terms of use.

Email Address   Include other special offers from Examiner.com Terms of Use

Most people are pretty clear that marriages and relationships can benefit from good communication skills.  But do you know the biggest problem related to a lack of communication between couples? 

RESENTMENT 

According to Wikipedia, resentment is "an emotion of anger or bitterness felt repeatedly, as a result of a real, or imagined, wrong done."

(I would add feelings of sadness to that mix which often are expressed as anger.)

Unchecked resentment can become toxic.  Many marriages end in divorce as a result.  I encourage couples to avoid this by learning to communicate as effectively as possible (active listening, "I feel" statements, checking in with each other, etc). 

The good news is that even if a couple has a mountain of resentment built up between them - it can slowly be chipped away at if both still love each other on some level and are invested in the relationship.  For others, it's simply too late and this task either seems impossible - or they've lost the desire to make it work at all.

The ideal is to clear away the garbage before it becomes something that is unmanageable.  If you think resentment is starting to build in your relationship - take out that trash.