The Economy and Relationships

February 16, 8:36 AMSF Marriage and Relationships ExaminerLisa Brookes Kift

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The economy has the potential to really do a number on relationships and marriage.  The stress baseline level is higher for a lot of people due to job loss, fear and uncertainty.  

Here are a few thoughts about ways to support each other during these difficult times:

• Be gentle - This is particularly true if there's been a loss of job for one of you.  Many of us have our identities wrapped up in we "do" for work.  This can be really rough on men in particular, due to their ideas around what role they play in the relationship - or family -  but women can also struggle.

• Watch your thinking - When times are tough, it's easy to slip into irrational styles of thinking (called cognitive distortions).  Monitor each other for excessive assuming, fortune telling and catastrophic thinking patterns - which can lead to feeling worse.

• Check in with each other - Try not to let stress and worry push you and your partner further away from each other.  Be sure to spend some time every week assessing how the other is feeling.  Remember to validate and empathize with each other as much as possible.  Again - back to "be gentle."

There's a distinction between realistic and expected reactions to external events (recession) - and depression.  If you or your partner are losing your ability to function over more than a few months, get professional help.